The Fight Aftermath
by tthomas77
Summary: Penny, Amy and Bernadette get into a huge fight which will have major relationship implications for Penny/Leonard and Amy/Sheldon. There will be much angst, but in the end a Shamy love story.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Bad Days

**A/N: I have never written a short story before, so please go easy on me! About a month ago I read a TBBT fanfic, and I've been quite hooked ever since. This story has been puttering around in my head, so I thought I would give it a shot!**

Today was one of those days. Amy had slept through her alarm, rushed to get ready then spilt her coffee on her skirt, lightly scalding her thigh. She rushed to her car and saw that something was wrong. Her window was rolled down, and the papers from her glove compartment were scattered all over the car. Oh my god, she thought, as she scanned the car for damage. She was missing some loose change, an old blanket and her jumper cables. Why the hell would anyone want to steal that? People will steal anything these days it seems. It looked like someone had pried her window down. Amy got back into the car and started rolling the window back up, but it made a weird thud. It looked like something got slightly bent in her window mechanism.

"Great, that will cost me a couple hundred to fix".

No time to dwell on that, she had a meeting at 9 am, and it was already 8:30. She might be able to still make her meeting on time if she rushed out right now. Amy sped quickly to work, and rushed down towards her meeting.

That's weird, her research team were all out in the hall talking loudly, instead of inside the room.

"Amy! Thank god you are here", her colleague Ben said.

"What's wrong?"

"The funding for our primate addiction study has been completely rescinded. It turns out Mitchell skewed some of the results in his study to look more favourable. The university found out, and now the donor has insisted that their research grant be retracted as they don't want to be associated with this scandal."

This was bad….really bad. It didn't change the results of her addiction research, but without funding, her research had to stop mid-way through the study. All the data would be lost, and she would essentially need to start from scratch, and that was if she could get new grant money again. "What happened to Mitchell?" she asked.

"The university fired him, and he's taken off. Hey the department head wants to talk to you about the future of this study."

Amy's head was spinning. "I need to get out of here". Her leg was throbbing, she lost almost a years' worth of work and she had her car to deal with. "I need to talk to Sheldon right now". She walked out into the hall and pulled out her cell phone. Her hands were shaking, as she hit send.

"Amy! I am so glad you called. I need you to drive me to the store after work to return my new t-shirt. The collar is so scratchy it's completely unbearable. I also need to buy some milk. Penny stole a good three quarters of the gallon this week on her cereal and coffee. I had to eat my cereal with morning with less than the optimal amount of milk. It has completely ruined my day."

"Everything has gone wrong…" Amy sniffed into the phone.

"Well the milk thing is annoying, but I've learned to accept Penny's mooching of food. I just need to make sure I always have a contingency reserve on critical food items such as milk."

Amy started sobbing into the phone. "Amy? Amy what's wrong? Where are you? Why are you crying?" Sheldon started panicking as he heard his girlfriend crying.

"Sheldon, all my work has been ruined, my car was broken into, I burnt my leg….I don't know what to do about work…I am so completely screwed. The department head is about to call me, so I can't talk too long."

"Amy, do you want me to come get you? You're hurt and need my help."

"No, no..I'll be fine, I have a girls night tonight at Penny's, which I think I desperately need right now. But, I'll come over afterwards and tell you everything. Listen, I've got to go, I see the department head is walking over to talk to me." Amy hung up the phone, and walked over to the approaching department head. Boy was she ever going to need that glass of wine tonight.

Penny was in a bad mood. She was working hard on becoming a good pharmaceutical sales rep. Her colleagues were giving her a hard time though, a lot of them snickering that she got the job cause of her looks, and that she had no education. A lot of them had degrees in pharmacy and chemistry, and Penny had nothing but some community college and a lot of acting courses. This job was about sales and marketing though, and Penny was good at connecting with people. It is a skill that she had always had, and now she got to put it to good use. She was so sick of being judged good and bad solely on her looks. She had a lot to contribute, it made her feel insecure.

It was a cause of major problems in her and Leonards' relationship early on. She felt insecure because she was not as educated as Leonard and his friends. She was afraid that he was just infatuated with her looks, and would leave her when he realized that she was not his intellectual equal. Oh hell, who is their intellectual equals? Her group of friends were as they say…super brainy. Most normal people would not compare to that group. She felt like the odd man out with her friends, and now at work too. It's so frustrating to not be taken seriously.

It was girls' night tonight, but Penny was not looking forward to it. Amy just completely adored her, and it could grate on her nerves sometimes. It just felt super needy at times. She was not in the mood for needy adoration tonight, she got enough of that from Leonard. Bernadette was like Jekyll and Hyde…sweet a pie sometimes and a vicious jackal at other times…you never know what you were going to get.

She longed for the days when she would hang out with friends and talk reality tv, sports and music. Her new friends were not the type of friends she had normally and their conversations were anything but normal. Oh well, the wine will help right? She was heading home to get an early start.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The Fight

Amy walked in and threw her bag by the door.

"Hey Bestie". She looked over at Penny and gave her a weak smile. She was still on the verge of tears, all the events of the day were swirling around in her head. She was this close to her breaking point.

"Did you order the pizza?" she asked Penny.

"I'm not your damn waitress anymore" Penny slurred. Penny had obviously hit the wine hard before she had got there.

"I know that, it's just that you said you would order when you came home from work. It was just a question." Geez…was Penny ever in a bad mood.

Penny walked over to the kitchen and filled her glass of wine back up to the top.

"Listen Amy, I have not had a good day.."

"Me neither! You wouldn't believe the day that I've had"

Before she could continue, Bernadette burst into the apartment. She was muttering about how everyone at work was a coddled pansy and couldn't handle hearing the truth.

"Wine me up NOW…" snapped Bernadette.

Penny grabbed a wine glass, filled it and handed it to Bernadette.

"Rough day for you too?"

"You wouldn't believe….and to top it off, Howie left the apartment a total disaster last night, and I know that it will ALL be waiting for me when I get home." Bernadette glanced around, "Where's the pizza?" Penny just rolled her eyes.

"I don't know why you married that guy…he's such a child" Penny said.

"Excuse me? Who are you calling a child? Your apartment is a disaster, and you never have any clean clothes, dishes or any toilet paper for that matter. Who is the child here? We have to constantly take care of you and pay for you. My husband may be a bit messy, but at least he's accomplished a lot in his life. Which is more than I can say for you."

"Whoah, Bernadette…no need to go for the jugular. Penny has many beautiful qualities, no need to be.."

"Shut up Amy. I don't need your help. Go back to drooling over Sheldon, stop drooling over me." Penny turned to face Bernadette. "You don't like coddling, then fine, face facts. You married the creepiest weirdo in this group who would sleep with anything that had a pulse."

"Well at least I'm not with someone who's so desperate for someone to love him, that he just lets you walk all over him and treat him like crap. Let's face it, if you weren't hot, would he have stuck around all this time?"

This struck a nerve with Penny. "He's with me because we love each other. People just stick around you cause they are afraid of you."

"You know, I used to think that you could have done so much better than Leonard, but now I realize that Leonard could do so much better than you. SOOO much better. You propose to him when you realize that you have nothing going for you in your life, just to give yourself some sort of security blanket. It's pathetic. Beauty doesn't last forever, one day Leonard will wake up and see the loser that is lying beside him"

Amy started feeling extremely panicked, everything was going wrong. Her two best friends were fighting, and her bestie was being so mean to her. She felt her heart racing. It didn't look like Penny or Bernadette were about to stop either….maybe she should say something to help.

"You guys are both just being defensive. You both have good mates. Both Leonard and Howard are both really sweet guys. I mean of course Sheldon and I are tops in terms of the Relationship Scale at 8.2, but I think we are all in good relationships."

"Really Amy? Do you really think you and Sheldon are in a good relationship?" Bernie glared at her.

"Yes I do. Just cause we are not sleeping together doesn't mean we aren't in a good relationship. We enjoy spending time together. He is intellectually stimulating. We have fun together. And, we love each other"

"He also cringes when you touch him. It took four years for him to even kiss you. You act more like friends than people that are in a romantic relationship. AND he is so off-putting, arrogant and acts like a petulant child most of the time." Bernadette spat out.

Penny stumbled over to Amy and gave her a look up and down. "Do you really blame him for not being physical?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amy felt the blood rushing away from her face.

"I mean, no young red blooded male, doesn't want to have sex, at some level. Maybe he doesn't try anything, simply because you don't turn him on. It's not like you even try to look somewhat attractive for him, miss orthopedic shoes and frumpy cardigan." Penny said.

"Maybe that's the only way you can keep a man…with your sex appeal, but I have other qualities that Sheldon loves."

"Yeah well your other qualities can keep you warm at night. I'm just tired of hearing you whine about it." Penny sneered. "I know if he was my boyfriend, his only issue with sex would be wanting it three times in a row"

"Of course the slut of Nebraska has all the answers" Bernadette snapped. "Don't be so mean to Amy, maybe Sheldon is into that mousy look, it's non threatening."

"Oh save it Bernadette, I know you feel the same way as Penny. You pretty much said that nobody is interested in me expressing my sex appeal when your magazine shoot got cancelled." Amy muttered.

"Well, Amy maybe there is some truth to that. Maybe you should up your game in the looks department. The way I see it, is that you two could learn a thing or two from me. I'm hot, smart, successful, married and my husband is always panting for more."

"Yeah, but look at who your husband is…" Penny laughed. She turned towards Amy "Yeah Amy, to turn him on, do you come out of your bedroom in your Grandma nightgown? As much as I hate to admit, Sheldon is probably the physically best looking guy in our group. Do you think if he didn't have all his "Sheldon" issues he would be with you? He would probably be with someone hot AND smart like Alex. Because he's got all his issues, you are perfect for him cause you don't activate that part of his brain."

"God, Penny you are such a raging bitch sometimes.." Bernadette hissed.

Tears were filling up Amy's eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing from her so called friends. Is that how they really felt about her? Some ugly troll doll that Sheldon liked to hang with, but would never have interest in that way…..It was all too much. She had no work to go back to, her friends were treating her like crap, and now they were basically telling her that Sheldon could do a lot better than her, and that she had zero sex appeal. Her eyes were red with tears.

"I'm getting out of here…I don't need friends like this! Penny you are still the same bitchy bully you always were. Bernie, you need to get over yourself. I'm better off without you both!"

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out! Maybe Dr. Whackadoodle will make you some tea and not hug you" Penny laughed.

Amy ran out the door and ran smack into Sheldon, Leonard and Howard who were coming up the stairs. Sheldon saw Amy's red tear filled eyes. "Amy?"

"Leave me alone!" Amy ran down the stairs and out of the building.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sheldon ran down the stairs to try to find Amy, but when he got to the street, he saw her car quickly pulling away. He pulled out his cellphone and texted her.

**Amy. Please call me when you get this text. I am worried about you.**

Sheldon put his phone back in his pocket, and headed upstairs. He needed to know why Amy ran out of Penny's apartment crying. He still didn't know exactly what happened to Amy today, he had tried texting and phoning her throughout the day, but she hadn't answered. Hopefully he could get some answers from Penny and Bernadette.

Penny's door was still open when Sheldon walked in. The guys, Penny and Bernadette were all staring at each other silently.

"Ok, what the hell happened here?" Leonard asked.

"Oh nothing…Just Penny completely destroyed Amy" Bernie said.

"I did not destroy Amy." Penny walked over to the wine bottle to top her glass back up.

"I think you've had MORE than enough for tonight", Leonard said grabbing her wine glass away.

Penny glared at Leonard and then turned to Bernadette. "Oh like you're all innocent. You were the one telling her she wasn't in a good relationship, mocking Sheldon, and telling her to up her game."

"Well that is nothing compared to what you said to her! You told her Sheldon doesn't find her physically attractive, and that if he was with you, he'd be begging for sex all the time!"

Leonard spat out the water he was drinking and looked at Penny. Sheldon went pale, taking all this information in.

"She also said, that if Sheldon wasn't such a nutcase, he'd be with someone hot and smart, not just smart, and that he was only with Amy cause he doesn't have to worry about being physical. AND…Leonard, you might want to know that Penny finds Sheldon to be the most attractive guy in our group."

"What!?" Leonard gasped.

"Bernie, you are such a …. Leonard it's not like that. All I said was that Sheldon is an attractive guy. That doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. Yuck! I see him like a brother, I don't think of him that way at all. He's the last person on earth I'd ever want to sleep with"

"Likewise to you Penny, likewise" Sheldon said coldly to her.

"Wow, with friends like you guys, who needs enemies" Howard said softly.

Sheldon turned to Penny and Bernie. "I can't believe the two of you. You call yourselves friends, but how can you be so cruel to each other. That's not what friends do. I may not have many friends, and I may not be the most gracious friend at times, but even I know that your behaviour tonight was completely reprehensible. It's also nice to know that you all think I'm such an annoying person, a nutcase and freely mock me when I'm not around."

"Sweetie, it's not like that.."

"You do not know what is in my head. You could not even fathom the thoughts that go through my head. Yes, I have issues with physical intimacy, but those issues are my own, and have nothing to do with Amy. I find my Amy extremely beautiful, and it upsets me to no end that you two made her feel like I do not."

"Well, maybe you should try telling her that a little more often" Bernadette said quietly.

"I am tired of everyone putting their two cents in about my relationship with Amy. You don't know how I feel about Amy, only I know! From now on, that topic of off the table. I'm sick of all the meddling. Amy had her car broken into, burnt her leg and something disastrous happened at work today which I didn't get the details to, then she comes to see her friends only to get mocked and belittled. I know Amy was so happy to have the both of you as friends, but now I think she is better off without you."

Sheldon turned towards Penny. "Penny, if you were ever my girlfriend, I would not be begging you for sex all the time. I think I would volunteer to go get castrated." Sheldon turned around, and slammed the door behind him.

"I need to sit down…" Penny sat on the couch and put her head between her knees. The room was starting to spin.

"I think this would be a good time for us to leave" Howard said. He grabbed Bernie's coat and started ushering her towards the door.

"You know Penny, just because you are not happy with your life, doesn't mean you need to try to destroy everybody else's happiness. Have a nice night….I hope you spend all of it throwing up." Bernadette walked out the door and slammed it behind her.

"Penny what the hell?" Leonard asked.

"Leonard, not now…" Penny jumped up and ran towards the washroom.

**A/N: I know from reading all this, it sounds like I am a Penny hater. I assure you I am not. But for the purpose of this story, she is not happy where she is right now, and is taking it out on everyone. Thank-you for the reviews! I love reading them. It's the first time I've written a story, and it helps me write more!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Amy walked into her dark apartment. She looked down at her phone. Four missed calls, three messages and a number of texts, all from Sheldon. She couldn't talk to him right now, all the words she heard from Penny and Bernadette were just repeating themselves in her head.

_You don't turn him on…You don't have a good relationship… He cringes when he touches you…If he were with me he'd want it three times in a row…You don't activate that part of his brain…If he didn't have all his issues, he would be with someone hot and smart, not just smart._

Amy walked over to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked swollen and red. Her hair was a mess, her nose was all red from crying. She slowly took off her cardigan, unbuttoned her shirt, took off her skirt, tights and underwear and turned on the shower. Hot water…very hot. She looked down at her thigh, the skin was very red and so tender to the touch.

Amy turned towards the mirror again and stared at herself.

_Do you really blame him for not being physical?_

She thought of her amazingly gorgeous blue eyed boyfriend with his sweet mischievous smile. She stepped into the shower, the hot water stinging her skin. I don't blame him, she thought. He could do so much better than me. Even my own friends think so. I was so stupid to think that he would love me that way. I just wanted it so bad….

Amy put her back against the tiles, and slowly slid til she was sitting. The hot water was hitting her face, stinging her thigh. She began to cry. She cried thinking of losing Sheldon, she cried thinking that she finally had friends, but they didn't think much of her, she cried thinking she always had her work as her rock, and now she didn't even have a project to work on. She cried and cried until the water went ice cold and there were no more tears left in her.

Sheldon was worried. He had tried to contact Amy, but she was not answering her calls or texts. He was hoping that she went to her apartment, because that was where he was headed. He was currently sitting on the night bus, whose schedule seemed completely without logic.

Sheldon was thinking that he probably should have gone back to Penny's and asked Leonard for a ride to Amy's, but the thought of seeing Penny right now was not one he could stomach. His hands clenched in anger when he thought of how cruel they had been to his Amy. It puzzled him, how they would imply that he was not attracted to Amy. He smiled when he thought of her. He loved her shiny brown hair, pinned to the side with a little clip. He loved her colourful tights and her feminine skirts. He loved her layers of cardigans…it just was so uniquely her. He loved that she challenged him, that they had fun together, that he could feel completely at ease and at home with her. It was a feeling that he had never felt with anyone else before. He hated the thought of Amy crying because of the words that they had told her. He would need to seek some sort of revenge on them. He was sure that Amy and him could think of a devious plan to put them in their place. Finally, he was at Amy's stop. He rushed out of the bus and towards her building.

_Knock, Knock, Knock _"Amy?"

_Knock, Knock, Knock_ "Amy?"

_Knock, Knock, Knock_ "Amy?"

"Amy please answer the door. I know you are there. I could see the lights on in your apartment from the street."

"Sheldon, please, I can't talk now. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise."

"Amy, please open the door. I'm not going to leave until I see you."

"Sheldon, Please just go. I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Amy, please! If you don't open the door, you'll leave me no choice." Sheldon reached into his messenger bag, and pulled out a notched keycard and a small screwdriver. Amy started to hear a weird clicking going on with her door. She flung the door open.

"Sheldon, seriously, are you trying to pick my lock?"

Sheldon stared at Amy. Her hair was wet, and pulled into a messy ponytail on the top of her head. Her eyes looked red and swollen. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, and billowy shorts that ended mid-way up her thigh. Her thigh was covered in an angry looking red blotch.

"Amy, your leg! Have you put any medicine on it? Maybe we should get that looked at." He grabbed her hand and then gasped. "Why are you freezing cold? Your skin feels like ice!" He rushed over to the couch and grabbed a blanket and wrapped her in it. He then rushed over to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. "Where is your Polysporin? I don't want you getting an infection from your burn"

"I'm ok. Listen, I just really want to be alone right now."

Sheldon brought two cups of tea to the couch and set it on the table. "Drink this, it will warm you up…be careful not to drop any on your leg." He softly took her hand. "Amy, what happened today?" He noticed that she would not look him in the eyes.

"Uummm..well this morning I was rushing, and I spilt coffee on my leg. I didn't realize how bad the burn was til later, cause I was in such a rush. I went down to my car and saw that someone had broken in. No real damage, but my window is a little wonky now. I got to the university to find out the funding on my addiction study had been pulled because a guy in my research team skewed the data in his favour and published a paper for his study. The university found out, and they pulled the grant. Sheldon, they completely cancelled my project. I don't know what I am going to do. I need to write new grant proposals, which can take a lot of time. I may need to go back to UCLA and try to get on some projects in the meantime."

"That is preposterous! Why would they cancel the entire project, when one person is at fault. They should simply disregard his study. This is why I hate working with people…they just complicate everything."

"They don't trust my team anymore. This whole thing has really damaged my reputation" Amy said quietly.

Sheldon noticed that Amy was still not looking at him, but looking down at the floor. "Amy, what else happened to you today?"

Amy started fidgeting with the blanket. "Ahh, just went to Penny's for girls night. Penny was pretty drunk, and her and Bernadette started fighting. I tried to step in, but then we all started fighting. With my bad day, it was just all too much, and I left crying, which you saw."

"Amy, I went up to Penny's apartment after you ran out. They told me everything."

"Everything?"

"Well, yes, I think everything"

Oh my god….Amy felt her eyes well up with tears again. She was so embarrassed, she wanted to disintegrate right into the couch. She couldn't look at him, her hands started shaking.

"Amy, what they were saying.."

"They were right, I mean, they are speaking the truth. Alcohol can be like a truth serum, it releases inhibitions, and people often speak what they really feel"

"What? Just because they are speaking what they think is the truth, doesn't make it the actual truth."

"You are an attractive man, and you could do a lot better than a mousy girl like me. Perhaps you chose me as a girlfriend, because you are not interested in having a physical relationship. I am non-threatening that way. If one day you resolved your intimacy issues, you may wish to be bonded with someone who is more on your own level in the looks department."

"Amy, you cannot possibly believe the malarkey those two were spewing out"

"It's not malarkey. It's the truth. It's been the truth of my life. I've always known that I'm not the girl that got the big romantic gestures, the flowers, the men swooning over me. That has never been me. I guess I just desperately wanted it though…I was told that if you were interested in me that way, you would have tried something by now, so I'm left to conclude that you are not really interested in me that way."

"But it's not true, I feel things…Amy…I do…for you"

"You feel affection, a closeness, a comfortableness with me. You do not however have the primal urge to rip my clothes off and have your way with me. I guess I am simply 'not the one'. I wish I was the one, but I should have left that dream buried a long time ago." Amy wiped a tear away from her eyes.

"Amy I do feel things for you…intimate things. It's just taking me some time, I'm not used to feeling this way."

"Maybe you are forcing something that simply isn't right for you. Sheldon, maybe we should terminate the"

"No! We are not terminating anything. Amy you are not thinking straight. I love you! You are making a rash decision because you are upset. You are not allowed to make any relationship decisions in this altered state. No, I will not allow it!"

"Sheldon, I'm not in some manic state. I need time…I need to sort this through in my head. Maybe we should take a month apart."

"How will that solve anything? Us being apart? No, No…a month is much too long. How about three days?"

"Three weeks."

"Two weeks final offer." Sheldon's eyes had gone red with tears. "Amy please don't do this. Don't let those two idiot's opinions wreck what we have. What we have is special."

"I agree to two weeks. Sheldon, I really need this time to think, to evaluate" Amy sniffed.

"But Amy, I love you…" Sheldon said as he embraced Amy, tears falling into her hair.

"I love you too." Amy slowly closed the door on her one true love.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N: This is a short little chapter, that is leading up to bigger things in the next few chapters. **

The morning sun had started shining into the living room of the apartment. Sheldon was lying on the couch, with one of his long legs resting on the top of it. He had lay there all night replaying the events of the previous night in his head. Two days ago, he had his date night with Amy, which was fun and ended in a sensual kiss. Today, she was questioning whether she wanted to be with him anymore. How did they get to this place?

As angry as he was with Penny and Bernadette, he knew that he couldn't put all the blame solely on them. If she had felt more secure about his feelings for her, then she wouldn't have believed what Penny and Bernadette had told her. Why couldn't he express how he feels to her? Why did he feel completely filled with panic, every time things started to get steamy between them.

"Oh what the hell is wrong with me?" Sheldon whispered to himself. He used to enjoy being different from the others, thinking differently, acting differently. His being different had never really hurt anyone, it may annoy others, but never hurt them. But now, he was feeling that his physical intimacy limitations were hurting Amy more than he had realized.

"Sheldon? What are you doing out here? Are you ready for work already?" Leonard asked as he shuffled into the room in his bathrobe.

Work? What time was it? Sheldon glanced at his phone, stunned that it was 6:30 am. "I'm not going in today. I'll email work and let them know" he whispered.

"Buddy, did you find Amy? Was she ok?" Leonard asked.

"I found her, and no she is not ok" Sheldon replied. He swung his legs down from the couch and moved into a sitting position. "She doesn't want to see me for a while…two weeks, to assess her feelings about us."

"What? Why? Did you two get into a fight when you found her?"

"No, but she believes all the garbage Penny and Bernadette told her. She thinks I'm not attracted to her. She thinks I can do better than her. The whole thing has sent her into a tailspin." Sheldon looked up at Leonard. "Why are you home? I thought you'd be at Penny's taking care of her."

"Yeah well, Penny is not exactly on my 'nice' list right now."

"Penny is supposed to be my friend. Why would she hurt me like this? Why would she hurt Amy like that? I don't understand…."

"Honestly, I don't really understand what is going on with Penny right now. She was in no state to talk last night, so we are going to have a long talk tonight. Listen buddy, things will be ok with Amy. You guys love each other, you just need to show her more."

"I wish it were that simple."

"It is that simple, you just overcomplicate everything."

Sheldon stared at him and whispered "Yes, well we all know how fucked up I am". He grabbed his phone, plugged in his headphones and started up an app. He lay back down on the couch and closed his eyes.

Leonard thought to himself that Sheldon never swears. Oh boy, this is not good…this is not good at all.

* * *

><p>Sheldon opened the app Spotify on his phone. He looked scrolled down to the categories and set it to MOOD: Sad. He hit play and let the slow sad songs fill his ears. The exhaustion of all the nights events were beginning to take over his body, he slowly drifted off to sleep.<p>

Penny opened the apartment door, holding her coffee cup. She tripped over Sheldon's messenger bag which was laying by the door. "Ouch!" she yelled.

Sheldon jumped up from the couch startled.

"Sheldon Oh my God!" Penny screamed and dropped her coffee cup. "What are you doing home?"

"What am I doing here? This is my home! What are you doing here?"

"I just needed some"

"Milk." Sheldon finished.

"Yeah….I'm not feeling so hot today, so I called in sick " Penny looked at Sheldon. He was wearing the same clothes from last night, he had bags under his eyes. His eyes were a little pink, like he had been crying. "Sweetie are you ok?"

Sheldon looked at Penny, she looked like her normal morning self. A little disheveled, but perfectly normal Penny. "Why don't you ask your bestie that?" he muttered.

"Oh Sheldon, listen….we were all having a bad day, and we all said stuff that we shouldn't have. Girls fight like this all the time. It's not a big deal. We will all give our I'm sorry texts today, and things will be back to normal in no time."

"Yes, well I think that this fight is not going to be one that is so easily resolved." Sheldon looked at Penny, "She's questioning whether to continue our relationship, we are on a two week break."

"Oh Amy! I will talk to her and sort her out. She can be a bit oversensitive sometimes.."

"Unbelievable….Un-fucking-believable"

"Sheldon you swore!"

Just then Sheldon's phone went off. It was a text from Leonard.

**Sheldon, can you please come down to the university. Gablehauser wants to speak with you and he says that it is quite urgent.**

Sheldon quickly typed a message back.

**Tell him I will be there in one hour.**

Sheldon turned to Penny, "Please give me the apartment key back."

"Why?"

"Because I no longer wish to have you in this apartment."

"You can't just take the key from me. It's Leonard's apartment also. He wants me to have a key"

"Wrong. It is my apartment, my name is on the lease not Leonard. Thus it is my apartment, and I want your key back." He snatched the keys from her hands and ushered her towards the door.

"Sheldon, just because you and Amy are having problems, don't put the blame square on me. She obviously wasn't happy with how things were to go on a break so easily."

"I know it." Sheldon said quietly as he shut the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank-you so much for the reviews. I absolutely love reading them, and so many of you have such interesting comments and insights.**

Amy woke up and looked at her clock. 9 am. It was ok though, she had emailed work last night and told them that she was going to come in later today. She needed to start clearing out her lab to make space for some projects that were waiting for lab space.

She looked over at her nightstand, and grabbed her phone. There were five text messages, three from Sheldon and two from Bernadette.

**Amy, I hope you are feeling better this morning. Please remember to go to the doctor to get your leg examined, and please apply the Polysporin to it so that it does not get infected. Sheldon.**

She smiled and went down to the next text.

**Amy, I realize that that last text was not the most thoughtful text to wake up to in light of last night. Please reverse the order of the texts in your mind, and read the next one as the first one and the first one as the last one. Sheldon.**

She started laughing, and opened the next text.

**Good morning my Amy. I hope that a good night sleep has restored your mind and body to a calm peaceful state. I miss you terribly already. Is it ok that I text you? Email? ILY Sheldon.**

Oh Sheldon….he always can make me smile, albeit sometimes unintentionally, thought Amy. She loved it when he called her "My Amy". She also noticed that he had signed off with an I love you. Sheldon was so easy to love, she simply, unabatedly adored him. But was she trapping him? Forcing him into a physical relationship that he wasn't interested in? She looked over at her framed picture of Sheldon sitting on Santa's lap and sighed. She felt so confused.

Amy glanced at her phone and saw there were two texts from Bernadette. She wasn't sure if she wanted to read the texts. Penny and Bernadette had been so cruel to her. They had been vicious, and knew exactly what to say to cause maximum hurt. What kind of friends did that? Their words were burned into her brain, she knew that she would never be able to forget them.

Should she read the texts or just delete it? Well curiosity might kill this cat if she doesn't open it, she clicked on Bernadette name and the text messages opened.

**Amy, I am so incredibly sorry for what I said to you last night. I don't feel right talking about this over text. Can I come by to see you today? Please let me know.**

**Amy, I didn't mean what I said to you. I'm so sorry, can we please talk? Please call me.**

Hmm….Amy didn't know what to make of Bernadette's texts. Bernadette and her had been getting closer lately. Initially, she had just thought of her as Penny's little annoying friend. They had recently started getting closer when they went on their work conference together, doing activities with the guys, making the death star cake together, partying together in Vegas, planning and decorating their prom together. She had started to feel very close to the little blonde dynamo. That being said, this was not the first time that Bernadette had lashed out at her though. She had made fun of her relationship with Sheldon multiple times and this was the second time she mentioned that she was had no sex appeal.

Amy felt like Penny was slowly withdrawing from her. She had always considered Penny her bestie, but as Penny started questioning what she wanted to do with her life she seemed to be pulling away. She knew that Penny and Sheldon had always been close friends, but lately she felt that she was more just Sheldon's friend, and not hers.

She never did any activities what Amy wanted to do. She constantly mocked her wardrobe and interests. She never phoned her when Sheldon fled out of town to tell her what happened. When she did find out about Sheldon leaving at their apartment, Penny just played with her nails and looked unconcerned. While Sheldon was gone, Penny was always busy, and didn't seem to have time for her, even though she was going through the worst time in her life.

It spoke volumes to Amy that she got a text from Bernadette and not Penny.

Just then, Amy's cell phone buzzed. It was a text from Penny.

**Ames, had too much to drink last night. We all said some stupid stuff, let's just forget last night happened. Shopping later? Oh yeah, Moonpie is freaking out about your break. What is that about? Call him before he gets to Level 5 crazy. He's already halfway there – he took my key!**

Amy read the text message over and over again. She didn't even apologize! That was it…..Amy was angry. Level 5 Crazy Assed Angry.

* * *

><p><em>Knock, Knock, Knock <em>"Dr. Gablehauser?"

_Knock, Knock, Knock_ "Dr. Gablehauser?"

_Knock, Knock, Knock_ "Dr. Gablehauser?"

"Dr. Cooper please come in."

"Thank-you." Sheldon strode over to the chair in front of the desk and sat down. "You requested to see me?"

"Dr. Cooper, this is regarding your work on Dark Matter"

"Yes, what about it?"

"Well, you were hired at Caltech specifically for your work and research on string theory. I know that you are no longer interested in pursuing string theory and want to focus on dark matter. The problem is that we had a deal."

"Deal?"

"Yes, a deal. You were promoted and were to teach a class. I notice that you have not been teaching at all"

"It's not my fault that nobody signed up for my class. I would think the young minds of today would be clamouring to sign up for a course taught by the great Dr. Sheldon Cooper. But I guess there is no accounting for taste these days. I have held up my side of the bargain, by offering a class. I have also been making progress on my research in dark matter."

"Dr. Cooper, I am quite surprised at you. That you would give up so easily."

"Give up? Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper does not give up!" Sheldon looked at Gablehauser puzzled.

"String theory is the holy grail of theoretical physics. The greatest minds in the world are working on finding the grand unification theory. I thought you were one of those great minds that would be trailblazing the way. Instead you get frustrated and give up and move on?"

"String theory is hopelessly unprovable!" Sheldon was getting worked up. "Even if I did make a breakthrough, how could we prove it? It is almost impossible to test these theories."

"I guess we should tell all the scientists at CERN to go home then…. Dr. Cooper, let me put it to you this way. String theory is the buzz in the physics world, it's sexy, it's gets people interested in physics…rich people."

"How you fundraise is not my concern."

"Well it should be your concern. These funds pay your salary. I have money allotted for String Theory research, dark matter research funding is limited. Unless a brilliant physicist publishes something new and exciting in the field of dark matter in the next month, then I have no choice to request you to return to string theory research."

"A month!? This is ridiculous! You are trying to strong arm me into moving back into string theory. We had a deal which I fulfilled. You can't go back on your word."

"Our deal was that you teach a class, which has not been fulfilled. Dr. Cooper, try to look at this as an opportunity. You can get the world interested in Dark Matter with your findings which will spur interest and funding, or you can go back to working on the holy grail of physics – string theory. The choice is yours."

"Well it doesn't feel like I have a lot of choice now does it?" Sheldon huffed. He stood up and walked towards the door. "I will let you know what I decide." He rushed to the door and walked out.

Sheldon was sitting in his office, blowing in and out of a paper bag. "I need to keep calm, I need to keep calm" he muttered to himself. Everything was going wrong. He needed to fix his relationship with Amy. He needed to fix his problems with touching and intimacy. He needed to prove a new theory in dark matter in the next month! Good lord, how was he ever going to do that? It was almost impossible.

No, No! Nothing was impossible for him. If anyone could figure everything out it was him. He just needed to make a plan. He pulled together three white boards and started scrawling on them. His work on proton decay was coming along, but he was nowhere near a solid theorem and therefore could not publish until he had that. He needed time to think….the only way would be to sleep less…a lot less. That didn't seem to work last time, he had started hallucinating. Perhaps he could sleep for two hours every four hours? That way he would still get eight hours of sleep, albeit at weird times. He could sleep at the office some nights, to save time commuting and getting ready. Ok, so that was the plan for work.

He looked at his next board, he needed to fix his relationship with Amy so that she understood that he did desire her and move toward greater intimacy. How was he going to do that? He got so panicked every time he thought of greater intimacy. He needed to talk to someone about this…someone he trusted implicitly. Penny was out of the question. Leonard? He was his best friend, but he felt like everything he told him would go back to Penny. He needed someone who knew him and would call him out when needed. He snapped his fingers…he knew who he needed to talk to. Missy.

He started to write out what he needed to talk to Missy about on his whiteboard. Wait…people couldn't see this. Perhaps he should write everything backwards? To easy… Perhaps write backwards meld every second and third word together, and then switch the third, fifth and seventh letters in each word? Perfect. It looked like complete nonsense on the board. He wrote a list of things to talk to Missy about in his new code until the board was filled.

He needed supplies now. Food, water, change of clothes, toothbrush, blankets, pillow. It was time to talk to Alex. Sheldon rushed out of the office to go talk to her.

* * *

><p>"Sheldon?" Leonard quietly knocked on Sheldon's office door. The office was empty. Leonard, Howard and Raj walked in.<p>

The three of them looked up at Sheldon's white boards. One board was covered in equations, pictures and a weird sleeping schedule. The other two boards were filled with words that looked like complete gibberish.

"He's writing in code" Howard said.

"Oh good Lord…I think he's finally cracked." Leonard sighed.

**A/N: I like the idea of Sheldon being close to his twin Missy. I found the twins I know in my life have always had a very close special bond. Next chapter will have more Penny and Bernadette. Thank-you for all your reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Where did I put my phone?" Penny asked herself. She was looking around her apartment. She lifted the piles of clothes on her couch. No..not there. She shuffled into her kitchen. Her counter was filled with piles of magazines, flyers and mail. She quickly scanned the counter. Nope..not there either. Penny then heard a soft buzzing noise coming from the couch. She ran over and started digging in the cushions. There it was. She quickly checked to see who had texted her. Leonard.

**Penny, will be home soon. I really think we need to talk about what happened last night. Love you.**

Penny sighed thinking of what this evening would bring. She really did not want to talk to Leonard about the fight that she and the girls had last night. First of all, it was really between the three girls, she didn't want this to become an issue with her and Leonard.

She glanced at her phone again. There were no messages from Amy or Bernadette. She wasn't really surprised that Bernie hadn't texted her. That girl could hold a grudge like nobody's business. She was surprised that she didn't hear from Amy. That was very unlike her. Penny stared at empty messages screen on her phone, and her mind started to drift to Amy.

Penny was Amy's self-professed "Bestie". It was a term that Amy had endeared to her, but not one that Penny felt was deserved. Amy grew up not having any friends and being the social outcast. When Sheldon had brought her into their little group, Amy had started following her around like a love sick puppy. It annoyed her sometimes. It was nice to have someone adore you, but after a while it just becomes too much. She felt that she was just fulfilling Amy's desire to have a cool popular friend. To her credit, Amy was a fiercely loyal friend. She went along with everything that she wanted to do, was very supportive, and when she was dealing with the whole Priya situation, she was ready to go on the attack.

Amy was positively weird though sometimes. She had a PhD from Harvard in Neurobiology, so she was super smart; her and Sheldon had the geekiest conversations all the time, that she just ended up tuning out most of the time. They played weird games that nobody could understand but them…not even Leonard. Her interests were that of a seventy year old woman – she liked Little House on the Prairie, played the harp, read medieval literature, basket weaving? What young woman is into that? It was true, that Amy was more than eager to delve into Penny's interests…they were all so new to her, but she could tell that they were not activities that Amy would be interested in on her own. Amy could also be painfully blunt, and she had no social graces much of the time, just like Sheldon.

Penny walked over to the shelf, and looked at a smiling picture of Sheldon and Amy. They were so suited to each other in so many ways. Intellectually - definitely. Amy seemed so happy to have a boyfriend, that she has infinite patience with Sheldon. A girl would need infinite patience to deal with Sheldon and his multitude of issues and demands. That being said, they seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time together.

Penny could see that Amy was getting more and more enamoured with Sheldon, but their relationship was not really going anywhere physically. She felt bad that Amy had been so hurt by what she had said, but honestly she felt it was the truth. Amy dressed like a dowdy old woman and acted like a dowdy old woman half the time. What did she expect, that Sheldon would be turned on by that? Sheldon was sexually inexperienced, so he would probably need a "push" to get moving in the right direction. Miss grannywear wasn't really doing that.

Dammit, she was so tired of dealing with everyone and all their issues. She was sick of feeling like the odd one in the group. Didn't they realize that she was the normal one, and that they were all weird? She was missing her old life….watching football with her friends, being physically active, being the hottest one at the club. When she went to the bar with Amy and Bernadette, she felt like she was being held back. She was sick of talking about dragons, werewolves, elves, star trek, star wars - it was all too much sometimes. She loved Leonard, but sometimes she missed having a boyfriend that was just outdoorsy and athletic. Not one that was wheezing all the time, and worried about what costume to wear to ComicCon.

The door started rattling, and the doorknob slowly turned. Leonard walked in, and threw his overnight bag by the door.

"Hey Hon, how was your day? You feeling a bit better?" he asked.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, I just had a bad headache this morning. I went over to your place this morning, to get some milk for coffee, but Sheldon kicked me out."

"He kicked you out?" Leonard looked at her puzzled. "Well he's pretty upset about the whole thing with Amy. I'm not sure what's going on with him, but I am kind of worried. He's been acting really strangely since last night." Leonard was actually more than a little worried about his friend, he had never really seen Sheldon this upset before.

"He is completely blaming me for what happened between him and Amy. That's not fair, we all know that him not touching Amy was going to turn into a major problem one day. That's not my fault." Penny walked into the kitchen and started shuffling through take out menus. She opened her purse and started digging around.

"No, that's not your fault, but don't you think you were being a bit cruel to Amy?" Leonard sat down on the couch and looked at Penny.

Ugh…here it begins. Penny thought this will be another evening of poor little Amy. "I think that maybe Amy needed to hear that. She has no idea how to turn a man on, and whatever she is doing sure isn't working…"

"Oh, I don't know that Sheldon can be turned "on" in the traditional sense. I mean he's Sheldon after all. But, you made Amy sound completely undesirable. I mean she's not the goddess that you are, but she's still a cute girl in her own way. You know how sensitive she is."

"Oh it's poor Amy, poor Amy, poor Amy all the time! You've only heard one side of the story. Everyone is quick to blame me all the time. You didn't hear the shit that Bernadette was saying to me. She told me I was stupid, lazy and slutty. She called you a pathetic doormat. She said the only thing I had going for me was my looks! But yes, let's please keep talking about poor pathetic little Amy." Penny slammed her purse onto the counter.

"Penny, believe me I'm not happy about what Bernadette said to you, and I am completely pissed that she would say that to you. But I know Bernie, and she only lashes out like that when she's provoked. So what upset Bernie so bad?"

Penny glared at Leonard. She couldn't believe that he was still trying to put this on her. "Well, maybe she's just upset that she's married to such a skeevy pervert."

"I see." Leonard said quietly, he looked up at her. "And what did Amy say that provoked you and Bernadette?"

Penny had hit her limit. "I'm sick of Amy OK!? I didn't choose for her to be my friend, she was just kind of thrust upon me when her and Sheldon started dating. She's weird! We have nothing in common! I'm sick of her following me around like a stupid little puppy dog. She's just using me you know….She's using me to fulfil her dream of having a cool and popular friend! Well I don't want to be used anymore! Listen, I love you and Sheldon…the rest of the group I could do without sometimes."

"Oh yes, I've learned how much you love Sheldon " Leonard sneered at her.

"Give me a break! You just said Amy was a cute girl in her own way, why can't I say that Sheldon is attractive?"

"Me saying Amy is a cute girl, is vastly different than you saying Sheldon would be begging you for sex!" Leonard yelled.

Dammit. Penny knew that this was going to end up turning into a fight between her and Leonard. "Listen, I meant what I said last night, Sheldon is like a brother to me. I don't have feelings for him that way ok. You need to stop being so damn insecure all the time."

Leonard stood up. "I am not being insecure, but you talking about our friend that way is wildly inappropriate. You know, I believe you about not wanting Sheldon. I think you just said that to hurt Amy. You know…you don't know what it's like to be the unpopular one, the one no one liked. You should try having a little empathy instead complaining about people liking you cause you are popular."

"Being around all of you is so draining! If you aren't talking about science stuff, you are talking about comic books, star trek, star wars, lord of the rings, elves, goblins and god knows what else! I'm sick of it! I want to hang around normal people and talk about normal things. I'm sick of being the odd man out with this group. Why can't you guys do anything normal once and a while?!"

Leonard started pacing around the room. "Oh so is this how you feel about me? That I am not normal? That we are all a bunch of freaks?"

"Well if the shoe fits…" Penny muttered quietly.

Leonard started going red in the face. "Listen, I thought we had worked past all this stuff, but clearly we haven't. Why don't you stop looking at us like a bunch of geeks and as people instead! Nobody is stopping you from hanging out with your old friends. If you miss them so much, then go hang with them. No one is forcing you to hang out with this "freak show"! Actually I welcome it! Maybe you need to develop your own interests instead of hanging out with us and ragging on us all the time!"

"You know what Leonard, FINE….that sounds good to me too. An evening out without discussing proton decay and if you'd rather be an elf or goblin sounds like a DREAM come true!"

"Great!"

"Great!" Leonard picked up his bag from the door and walked out. Penny sighed….well tonight went exactly how she thought it was going to go. She turned on her phone, it was time to go out.

**A/N: Thank-you for all the supportive reviews. I didn't end up having Bernadette in this one, but I thought that Leonard and Penny needed to have this conversation. If you liked it, review please! I love reading all your comments.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Amy looked around her lab and smiled. She felt at home here…this was her safe place. This was where she felt in control and where she felt in a position of authority. She was Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, respected, published neurobiologist. She really enjoyed working at CalTech, her colleagues were amazing, and the labs were state of the art. Amy opened up the desk, and started taking her files out. She would be sad to leave the lab and her addiction study, but she was thinking all morning of new possibilities for research. CalTech had worked hard to lure her from UCLA, so she knew that they weren't going to let her go back so easily. She wanted to stay also, and not just because Sheldon worked just across campus. It was simply an amazing place to work.

Amy glanced at her phone, and thought about how she hadn't written Sheldon back. She wanted to talk to him, so see him, but she needed time to sort things out in her head. She pulled out her laptop, and decided to write him an email instead.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_Thank-you for your texts this morning, they made me smile. On my way to work this morning, I stopped at the walk-in clinic and got my leg checked out. The doctor said the burn in not too bad, and just to keep it clean and dry. Thanks for checking up on me, it means a lot._

_I have been thinking about how we should communicate while we take some time apart. I think if we are constantly texting and skyping it will take away some of what I am trying to get out of this break. I do not want to cut out all communication with you though, because I think we need to talk and sort through a number of things. I know that I often find it easier to collect my thoughts in written word than speaking sometimes. So I propose that we each send each other one email a day. This way we can start to talk about some issues that are perhaps not the easiest to talk about._

_I am currently packing up my lab, but I have some new ideas for some studies here at CalTech. I am in the process of writing up a few proposals, and will present it to the department head. Hopefully it will be enough get some research started here again, and I will not have to go back to UCLA._

_I got a text from Bernadette and from Penny. Bernadette seemed very apologetic in her text. Penny was very flippant in her text and didn't really apologize. I am not sure how to process all of this, I am still quite upset with both of them. Penny more so at the moment, because she doesn't seem to really care. I haven't written either of them back._

_I am going to do a lot of thinking about our relationship during the next two weeks. I need to figure out what I need out of this relationship, and if it is possible. I promise to let you know what I am thinking about, so you don't feel out of the loop._

_I miss you very much._

_Love,_

_Amy._

She hit send and closed her laptop. She picked up a framed picture of her and Sheldon and gazed at it. If they could only get on the same page on what they want, then they could have an amazing relationship. There was so much unresolved hurt there though. Was it possible?

"Amy?"

Amy glanced up and saw Howard standing at her lab door.

"Howard? What are you doing here?" Amy looked up at him surprised.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing? I heard from Leonard about what happened with your addiction study." He cleared his throat, and looked at her nervously "I also wanted to see how you were doing after the fight you had with Penny and Bernie"

"Did Bernie send you?"

"No! No…she doesn't even know I am here right now. Amy, Bernie feels so terribly about what she said to you, she spent most of the night crying. I also felt really bad about what was said to you, and I wanted to check in on you and see if you were ok."

Amy looked at Howard. He was really quite a sweet man, she felt much closer to him after their scavenger hunt in the "Neilmobile". She gave him a soft smile.

"Amy, you know what they said to you isn't true right?" Howard said softly.

"What part? The part where about how Sheldon and I have a screwed up relationship, or the part where I am sexually unattractive and will never turn a man on?" Amy replied. She looked down at her desk.

"Amy, when I first met you, I thought you were quite strange, a bit abrupt and sometimes a bit condescending." Howard saw Amy frowning at him, but continued on. "But, Sheldon was also arrogant, cold and extremely condescending."

"Wow we make quite the match" Amy said quietly.

"Do you know how much you two have changed each other? You went from a woman who gave short one word answers to one of the warmest people in our group of friends. You plan parties, you are the life of the party, with the gang or just with the girls. And Sheldon's changed in ways we thought were impossible. You made him a more caring open person. I never thought I would see the day where Sheldon Cooper was excited to go to a "prom", but there he was, having a great time, and it was obvious to everyone in the room that he is completely in love with you."

Howard continued on "Sheldon and I have never have had the best relationship. He was constantly putting me down, making fun of engineers and my lack of a doctorate. But, we became a lot closer after we went to Houston together. I think we started to see each other more as friends after that. I think that has a lot to do with your influence. You both bring the best out of each other….that's what good couples do."

Amy smiled at Howard. "Thanks Howard, that was very sweet of you to say that."

"And as for the other stuff, are you going to trust a girls opinion or a guys?" Howard asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are a very pretty girl, you sometimes keep it a bit under wraps literally with all your cardigans, but we all can see that you are. That is a guys' opinion." He gave her a little wink and a smile. Howard walked up to Amy and gave her a hug. "Please give Bernie a call. She really wants to talk to you."

Amy looked up at Howard, "Thanks for coming to see me. It really meant a lot. I think I will call Bernie. You know, she really is a lucky girl to have you."

Howard gave a smile, and quietly walked out the door.

Amy sat at her desk smiling. Howard was such a sweet guy, it was so nice of him to come check on her. She was starting to feel a bit better. Maybe she could have it all…it was starting to feel like a real possibility. He was right, she shouldn't worry about what the girls thought of her, she needed to feel good and confident in herself. This wasn't about Sheldon, Penny or Bernadette…this was about her…and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler was a winner.

**A/N: Just a short sweet chapter this time. I thought a happier chapter was in order after the last chapter was a pit of negativity! Thank-you for all your reviews!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sheldon was pacing around his office. He had all his supplies to stay there overnight. All he needed to do was focus and concentrate on dark matter. He looked at his white boards filled with equations. Dark matter…dark matter. Amy's hair is dark and silky. No no….concentrate! He was completely losing all focus, it was hard to think when there was so much pressure. He glanced at his phone. It was almost six o'clock, and that meant he was supposed to sleep for two hours. He wasn't tired at all though. Well it was the first day, and the schedule needed to work through its kinks. He was going to use this time to talk to Missy anyways. It would be 8 pm in Texas, so it would be a good time to call as the baby should be asleep by then. Sheldon heard a ding coming from his computer.

He walked up, and saw that he had an email from Amy. He quickly read the email, and then he read it again, and then once more. She only wanted to talk to him by email once a day. She was giving serious thought about their relationship. He started to feel a panic stir in his stomach. Why was she questioning their relationship?

Sheldon started up Skype, and picked his twin sister's smiling icon. The video started up, and suddenly a chubby cheeked dark haired blue-eyed baby appeared on the screen. Sheldon smiled, the baby looked so much like him and Missy when they were babies.

"Cayden!" Sheldon smiled. "What are you doing up?"

"Hey Shellybean! I'm just getting the hubby to put down the baby. I thought you might want to see him before he goes to bed." Missy said from behind the baby's head.

"I do. He's gotten so big! Hi Cayden..it's your Dr. Uncle Cooper"

"Swelleebeeee" Cayden gurgled.

"Swellybee? Did you teach him that?" Sheldon asked.

"Well, when he sees your picture on the wall, I say that's my brother Shellybean. And mom always calls you Shelly when he sees your picture at her house. So now he knows you as Swellybee"

Sheldon smirked "Well, I guess I've been called worse. It's cute when he says it." Missy's husband Greg walked into the room and picked up the baby.

"Hey Shelly, gonna put down the little one. Hope you're doing well." He took the squirmy baby out of the room.

Missy stood up and shut the door, then sat back down in front of the computer. "So Shelly, what's up? You said you really needed to talk?"

"Ummm yeah.…How's mom? How's MeeMaw?" Sheldon asked.

"They're fine. Shelly, I can tell that you are stalling. Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Aaahhh"

"Could this be about Amy?" Missy smiled.

"Um..yes, this is about Amy." Sheldon quickly ran through the previous nights events with Missy. He told her about Amy's bad day, her fight with Penny and Bernadette, their conversation back her apartment. Sheldon put his head down into his hands and sighed "I don't know what to do Missy? I really don't know what to do…"

Missy looked sadly at her twin. She hated to see him suffering so much. "Shelly, is this true? That you two haven't been intimate? I just kind of assumed since you two have been together for so many years now."

Oh God…what a conversation to be having with your own sister. Sheldon felt so embarrassed.

"Missy, you know I never planned on having a girlfriend. I dedicated my life to science. I wasn't going to let a silly relationship get in the way of me getting my Nobel. But I met Amy, and everything changed. I mean, she is brilliant, I still want my Nobel, but I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to her."

"Well it sounds like, you love her and she loves you. You are both inexperienced, so what is the problem? You two can learn everything together."

"I can't let her…I can't let her touch me like that. I get panicked, I start freaking out… Missy you know I don't like people touching me."

"I know you don't like MOST people touching you. That is not a hard and fast rule with you. I can touch you, Mom can touch you, you melt into Mee-Maw's arms every time you see her. I've seen Leonard and Penny touch you. Why can't Amy touch you, when you claim you love her?" Missy questioned.

Sheldon looked at his sister pondering her words. Amy's touch was different. It wasn't a touch of family or close friends. He felt his whole body tingle when she touched him, he could feel himself losing control. He was losing control, and he needed control in his life.

"I need to be in control" he whispered. "I don't feel in control with Amy."

"Shelly, you try to control absolutely everything in your life. How you eat, drink, play, work…everything is to your rigid schedule. Love isn't like that. Love is about letting go."

"I can't not be in control, everything goes wrong when I'm not in control." Sheldon argued.

"Things are not the way it was when we were kids anymore Shelly! I know why you have a desperate need for control. Mom and Dad screaming at each other all day, the drinking, Dad cheating, screaming at us all the time, George Jr. getting whooped constantly, you getting beaten up by the neighbourhood kids for being an obnoxious twerp. It was total chaos at home, and you needed order. I know your brain thinks differently than everyone elses. When you left home when you were eleven, I knew it wasn't easy for you. You were just a little kid, in school with college age kids. I know how you deal…you make schedules, you follow everything to a certain order, so that you are in control and you don't have to feel your feelings, cause you are too busy making sure everything is done just so!"

Missy started tearing up, "You know Shelly, it wasn't easy for me either. You left me alone with them when we were eleven. I didn't have anyone by my side anymore during all the fighting. I was so scared all the time. George Jr. was never home, he dealt by keeping out of the house most of time. I was all alone when Dad died…"

"I was alone too…in another country." Sheldon's eyes were going red with tears.

"I guess it was pretty awful for all of us. We just dealt with it in different ways. George Jr. dealt by partying with his friends and drinking, I dealt with it by giving my affections to whoever would give me attention, you dealt with it by throwing yourself into your studies and trying to control your entire environment."

"So where does that leave us? I don't know if I can give up that control. It's the only thing that gives me a sense of peace in my life."

"Shelly…" Missy paused and looked up at her brother "Shelly, you are going to lose Amy if you don't change. You need to make a decision on whether you'd rather lose a bit of your controlled life or lose Amy."

"Amy is not going to leave me. She loves me. She knows how I am, and she accepts that." Sheldon replied.

"Can't you see that those girls brought up all her insecurities? She's not happy, she wants to be with you and you push her away every time you feel like you are losing control. She doesn't know what is going on in your head. All she sees is you constantly pushing her away. If she feels insecure about your feelings for her and her looks, and then her boyfriend is constantly pushing her away, what is she to do? No woman is that strong to put up with that kind of life forever. It sounds like she is hitting her limit. If you don't want to make that effort to change, and you really love her, you need to let her go."

"No, I don't want to lose Amy. I love her, I want her in my life."

"Then you really need to step up. If you are with someone you love and trust, then letting yourself go to your emotions isn't a bad thing. It can feel wonderful, it can be a huge release. You'll find you and Amy being even closer because you have this new bond and trust between the two of you."

"But I don't want that…I don't want to feel like I need Amy" Sheldon said softly.

"Why?" Missy looked at him puzzled.

"Cause I don't think I could handle it, if she left." Sheldon said trembling. "I couldn't go on. I'm not strong like mom. I already feel like I am getting hopelessly attached sometimes, and when I kiss her, the feeling just gets more intense. I can't let that happen, cause…cause….if she did leave me one day…"

"Why do you think that Amy is going to leave you?" Missy asked.

"I know most couples do not last a lifetime…look at mom and dad. They were in love in the beginning, and then it turned into a huge mess as the years went on. " He added softly, "I know that I'm not the easiest person to be with. Amy is so beautiful and brilliant, what if she gets tired of being with me, I'm sure there will be no shortage of men that would be wanting to whisk her away. I think that might destroy me…"

"Shelly, listen carefully. You and Amy are not like mom and dad. You and Amy are more like Mee-Maw and Pop-Pop."

"I'm not half the man Pop-Pop was …" Sheldon said quietly.

"Sheldon, I know that you love Amy, and when you said it, it meant something. You don't throw the love word around willy-nilly. If you said it, I know you meant it. Pop-Pop was the same way. When he said something he meant it. Everyone and their dog could see how much Pop-Pop loved Mee-Maw. I think you two have the same type of love. Nothing could pull Mee-Maw and Pop-Pop apart. I think if you give yourself fully to Amy, you two could be the same."

"Do you really think so?" Sheldon asked.

"I know so. If you are still feeling unsure in a few days, maybe you should talk to Mee-Maw. She always gets through that thick skull of yours." Missy smiled at Sheldon.

"How did you get so smart?" Sheldon asked smiling at his sister.

"Oh, I was always the smart one, you know that. You just have a bunch of fancy degrees."

Sheldon laughed, "I think you are right. I'll think about what you said Missy, thanks for the talk."

"I'm always here if you need to talk Shellybean. I love you."

"I love you too"

Sheldon hit end on their skype chat. It was a lot to think about. Sheldon did know one thing for sure, he loved Amy, and he was not about to let her go.

**A/N: I'm hoping this talk cleared up things in Sheldon's head a bit. But what will he do about it…Thanks for your reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Bernadette had picked a quiet table at the back of a lounge that her and Amy had frequented before. She was going to be meeting Amy there shortly. She was relieved when she got Amy's text that she was willing to meet her to talk.

She had been up the past two nights thinking about the fight that she had with Amy and Penny. She knew that she had played a huge part in upsetting Amy, and she felt terrible about it. Amy didn't deserve that, all she had tried to do was diffuse the situation between her and Penny.

Penny. Penny was the whole reason that Bernie had gotten on edge. Why did she constantly feel the need to put down her husband? Yes, he was a different guy in the past, she knew that. But he was committed to her now, and he loved her. Why did she have this constant need to insult him all the time?

It was true, she had gone for the jugular on Penny, but she was pissed off at her. She heard through the grapevine at work, that Penny had bombed her interview…the interview that SHE had gotten her. She had put her reputation on the line to even get her that interview, Penny went in woefully unprepared and then GOT the job because her and Dan bonded over Bernadette being mean. Did she think that she wouldn't find out? The thought of them laughing at her just filled Bernadette with rage.

Bernie looked up and saw Amy come in through the door. She waved her over, and Amy slowly approached the table. She looked nervous and upset.

"Hi Amy", Bernie said quietly.

"Hi" Amy replied softly. She sat down and grabbed the drinks menu.

"Do you want to share a bottle? Or half a bottle?" Bernie asked.

"Oh, I don't know…things didn't really go too well the last time we were drinking wine." Amy mused. She looked down at the drinks menu, then back up at Bernie "Oh what the hell, let's share a bottle".

Bernie smiled and signaled the waiter over, who took her order. In a blink of an eye a bottle of Shiraz and two glasses were sitting in front of them. Bernie poured two glasses out, and then looked at Amy.

"Amy, I can't tell you how incredibly sorry I am for what I said to you. It was cruel and it wasn't fair. I should have never commented that way on your relationship with Sheldon and I shouldn't have made negative comments about your sex appeal. It's not true, and it's not how I feel. I really am sorry for hurting you."

"Why are you apologizing, if that's how you feel. Maybe you do think that Sheldon and I have a bad relationship. You do seem to think I have no sex appeal, you've said that twice now." she said in a monotone voice.

"Amy, really I don't believe that. I just…I just….When I'm mad, I go for the weak spot and attack. I've always done that with my brothers and sisters. I know that you are insecure about how you look, and that you've had people make fun of you in the past. So it was the first thing I went for." Bernie looked down. "I really have a temper problem…I know, I've known for a long time. I really need to work on it. I end up hurting people I love like you and Howie."

"I know I don't dress the most fashionably, but I feel comfortable in my clothes. I like dressing differently than everybody else. I didn't think I looked dowdy and unappealing though."

"Amy, you don't! My only comment is sometimes you wear so many layers of clothes, you are hiding that hot body you got under there. You should show off that cute figure you have a little more. I guess it's ok though, since Sheldon has already seen you naked!"

"Bernie!" Amy cried. She was turning a deep shade of red. She looked at Bernie sadly "He's also seen Penny naked, and I know that there is no way I could compare."

Bernadette sighed. "Penny is like a dime a dozen out here in California. She is just like every waitress actress out here. She didn't put Sheldon into a state of panic when he saw her in her prom dress, you did."

"I don't know if having a panic attack at the thought of sleeping with me is the most flattering thing." Amy replied.

"Amy, if he had no desire to sleep with you, then seeing you in your prom dress would have had zero effect on him. Or the teasing he got about having sex on prom night from Leonard and Penny would have no effect because he would just not worry about doing it. He started panicking because he DOES want to sleep with you and he doesn't know what to do about it, because he has it stuck in his head that he's above all this coitus nonsense. He's panicking because he wants it, and the idea that he is not Mr. Homo Novus is freaking him out. "

"Doctor Homo Novus.." Amy corrected quietly and smiled. She looked up at Bernadette. "That doesn't change the fact that you don't think that Sheldon and I have a good relationship."

Bernie looked into Amy's eyes. "Nothing is black and white all the time. There are lots of shades of grey. There are things about your relationship that I think are great. I see the love between you two is real and true. I see that you two genuinely like spending time and doing activities together. I see the way you dote on each other when no one is looking. But yes, there are things that I don't like also."

"Like what?"

"Like I don't like how he skews the relationship agreement in his favour all the time. I don't like how he puts you down and insults you. I don't like how he often thinks of himself before you. I really didn't like how he left you this past summer without a word, and when he came back, you just forgave him with no consequence."

Amy looked down at the table. Her eyes were filling with tears. "I hated that too Bernie " she sniffed. "I never felt more alone than when Sheldon left. I felt like he left because of me. I hated that he mocked my desires for our life together like it was some stupid joke. When he came back, it was like nothing had ever happened. He has no idea how many nights I spent crying over him while he was away."

"Amy, why didn't you tell him how you felt when he got back? He needs to understand how much his actions hurt you, and you need to be strong enough to tell him. You two really need to talk about these issues. The whole relationship can't be about him all the time. There are two people here, not just one. You need to figure out what you want out of this relationship, and so does Sheldon. If you two can get on the same page, then great, if not, then maybe it's time to walk away."

"Bernie, I don't think I could do that….I don't think I could leave Sheldon."

"I'm not saying leave him, but I want you to take a hard look at what you want. You may have that life with Sheldon, or perhaps it will be with someone else. But you can have the life you want. Remember that. You are an amazing person Amy. Strong, smart, beautiful…never forget that ok?"

Bernie and Amy looked at each other and smiled. They could feel the tension and hurt slip away. They began chatting like normal, and ordered a second bottle of wine. They started cracking funny stories to each other, and soon they were laughing away, the wine making them both a little loopy.

"Are we good?" Bernie asked

"We are good" Amy smiled. She pulled out her phone and started going through her emails. Bernie pulled out her phone and then gasped.

"Oh my god, Amy you have to see this!" Bernie thrust her phone in Amy's face.

Bernie had the Facebook app open on her phone, and the newsfeed was filled with pictures of Penny. A very drunk Penny. She was dressed in the shortest little blue dress imaginable, sitting on some beefcake's lap. She was surrounded by a bunch of girls all wearing similar little dresses in different colours.

"Is she wearing body glitter?" Amy squealed.

"OMG Yes!" Bernadette howled laughing. They scrolled through all the pictures. They could see as the night went on how Penny looked progressively more drunk , until the last pictures where she just looked glazed and was drooling.

"This is too funny. But who are those girls, and those guys? I don't recognize any of them." Amy asked.

"I recognize a few of the girls. Those were girls she used to party with before she met Leonard." Bernie replied.

"Wow, I guess she replaced us pretty quickly hey?" Amy said softly.

"Oh, who cares! Did she apologize to you? No! Did she apologize to me, or even try to talk to me? No! I have a boatload of issues with Penny right now, but tonight is not the night for that." Bernadette grinned up at Amy "Should we comment on any of her pictures?"

"Hmmm like what? How about "Any more alcohol and your NMDA receptors will block your memories but Facebook is forever?" Amy slurred.

"Oh Amy, even drunk, you sound too smart… I was thinking…"

She started typing S-L-O-R-E in the comment field.

"Bernie!" Amy squealed and grabbed the phone away from her, rapidly hitting delete.

"Don't you want to get back at her? Even a little? You know her and Leonard got into a big fight yesterday. Howie told me. Apparently she is sick of all of us, thinks we are all a bunch of geeks. She's sick of conversations on would you rather be an elf or goblin?" Bernie said.

"Elf or Goblin? Doesn't she mean Elf or Hobbit?" Amy asked. She giggled "Dummy."

Amy started thinking about all the cruel words that Penny had said to her. How she didn't turn Sheldon on, how she didn't activate that part of his brain, how if he was her boyfriend he would be begging for sex. She thought about Penny's callous text from the other day. She thought about the statement she made about Alex. You know it was funny, she made that statement about Alex and Sheldon, but the reality was that Alex liked Leonard not Sheldon. "How about this Bernie…", she navigated to a picture of Penny drooling. In the comment she wrote.

**Leonard Hofstadter**, you are such an awesome guy. You should be with someone Hot AND Smart, not just Hot – with **Amy Farrah Fowler**, **Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz** and **Alex Jensen.**

"Do it! Do it!" Bernadette goaded.

Amy looked at the phone, and then hit Post. It was done. She would probably regret that in the morning, but right now, it felt so right.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to ChaliceInnana who got me writing tonight and inspired me on a lot of the stuff I wrote about Penny. I promise, that Penny will come around and that they will all get along in the end. I'm not intending this story to be about slamming Penny, but I want her to feel a bit low, and then reflect on her friends and decide what she wants in her friends. Thank-you! And thank you all for the reviews, I love reading them.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Amy woke up the next morning with a terrible headache. Two bottles of wine between Bernadette and her had been more than enough. She got up and went to the kitchen to drink some water. As she drank the cool refreshing liquid went down her throat, she started feeling better; the fog in her head started to lift. She was happy that she had made up with Bernadette. She had missed her, and it was nice knowing that things were going to be ok between them again. Her thoughts started to drift to Penny and the events of last night.

Amy thought about the Facebook post that she had made from Bernadette's phone the previous night. She started to feel something that she was not used to feeling that often. Guilt. Why had she done that? That was not like her. The sole purpose of the post was to stir up trouble in Penny and Leonard's relationship. Why would she do that? Was she that angry and callous to try to hurt her friend? And Leonard? Poor Leonard didn't do anything at all, and she was dragging him into her argument. Why did she drag Alex into this also? She started feeling extremely embarrassed and guilty.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Was she no better than the girls that used to bully her and make fun of her? When she got the upper hand, was she so quick to jump into that mean girl role and try to put Penny down. She sighed, feeling so disappointed in herself. No, she was not that type of person, and she wasn't going to let herself be that type of person. She needed to rectify the situation. Amy sat down at her computer and sighed. She knew that she wasn't ready to talk to Penny yet. Her feelings were still too raw, and she knew that she would be oversensitive. She needed to talk to Leonard and Alex though, to apologize for her stupid post. She decided that she needed to head to the physics building today to try to make amends.

From looking at the Facebook pictures of Penny and hearing about her behaviour the past few days, she knew that something deeper was going on with Penny. She was unhappy about something, and she didn't know what. Was she that unhappy being friends with her or was it something else? She seemed like she was spiraling out of control.

Amy looked at her computer, and saw that she had some new emails. She opened her mail program, and saw that there was a message from Sheldon. Every day she was so happy when she saw a new email come in from Sheldon. She missed talking to him so much. She was limiting their communication, but at the same time was craving contact with him. Amy eagerly clicked open the email.

_Dear Amy,_

_I can't say that I am very fond of our arrangement of only communicating by email, but I trust that there is a method to your madness. I will do my best to try communicate with you by this method only, but please remember that written word doesn't always convey tone, and I may not be able to pick up your subtle hints of sarcasm in your emails. _

_I have been working my new schedule, to try to make some progress in my dark matter research. It has not been going as well as expected. I find myself not being able to concentrate during my allotted work hours, and then also not being able to rest during my two hour sleep periods. If we were still doing our anxiety experiment, then I would definitely be in the "zone" all the time now. I am getting more and more angry that I am expected to make a major scientific discovery in a very SHORT defined time period. This of course, may be Gablehauser's intention, so that I return to string theory research. He shouldn't underestimate Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper._

_I have spoken to my sister Missy quite a bit over the past few days. This may surprise you, as I have not mentioned her very much to you over the years. Missy and I have always been close, but I admit, I have confided more in Penny in the past few years. I am not on the best terms with Penny at the moment, due to her recent behaviour, so I decided to speak with Missy. It was actually very good to speak with her, because, she understands me in a way that Penny never quite will. She was by my side every minute of my life when I was child. We went through many shared experiences together. She understands why I am the way I am._

_This is very difficult for me to talk about, but she made it very clear to me that I may lose you if I do not change. So this is hard, but I am going to tell you exactly what I am thinking, and hope that it gives you a bit of understanding. I am very resistant to change, as you have seen by last summer's events. I do things a certain way for a reason. It was born out of the chaos and fear that I grew up in. When things go not according to plan, I feel distressed and panicked. When I thought about my life, I had a laid out plan, but in that plan, there was no spot for a girlfriend. I met you, and while I enjoyed spending time with you, I never intended to deviate from my life's plan. As we spent more time together, I found myself growing more and more fond of you. I needed to know what you thought of things, my own opinion was no longer enough. This concept bothered me, because I do not want to be dependent on another person. _

_As we continued on our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, I began to develop romantic feelings for you. I have never been in a romantic relationship before, or even desired such relationship. It fills me with worry for a few reasons. One, I feel that the relationship will distract me from my ultimate goal of winning a Nobel Prize in Physics. I am beginning to question whether you really distract me from this goal or not. Stephen Hawking is married, and is still a brilliant physicist. I am still sorting that issue out in my head. Two, I am scared I will end up like my parents. I have not seen very many successful romantic relationships in my life. I would hate for our relationship to turn into one of hate and mistrust. My sister pointed out that I have seen a good romantic relationship in MeeMaw and PopPop. That is true, but I don't know if I am the type of man PopPop was. This brings me to my third worry, I know that I am a selfish person. I know that in a relationship, you need to stop putting your own needs first all the time. I know that I have not been doing that with you. You never complain, and you are always so accommodating, I have taken advantage of the situation. I have been pushing you away because I am scared of my worries, and you have not known why. _

_Amy, I am sorry for making you feel that I didn't love you or desire you. I have, for a while now, but I have been so scared, that it was easier to keep you at arm's length than deal with my fears. So where does that leave us? I don't know, I'm still scared, and I still don't know what I am doing. I know that I hate being apart from you. I know that my life has become so much better now that you are in it. I know that I feel completely and utterly lost without you. I am still scared, but I do know that I want to try and not push you away. You have become a part of my heart and my soul. _

_I love you,_

_Sheldon._

Amy stared at the screen, trying to blink away the tears. He did love her, he did desire her. He was just so scared to act on his feelings. But what about all their problems? His dismissiveness, how he left her without a word, they still needed to work through so many things. He acknowledged that he understood his problems, but what was he willing to do about it? Nevertheless, her heart filled with joy as she re-read his email. He loved her. He truly, unequivocally loved her. She needed to see him. She needed to talk to him in person. She knew that she couldn't wait the remaining week and a half, she needed to talk to him now.

Amy quickly showered, and then walked towards her closet. Bernadette said that she just needed to wear less layers and show off her body a bit. She was not used to that, she loved her protective layers. It protected her from feeling so exposed. It was not just her body she was covering up, she was protecting her herself from the outside world and their cruel taunts. It had been easier for her to fade into the background, than have people notice her and be cruel.

Today was a different day. She was going to be more confident in herself. Her friends thought she was beautiful. Her boyfriend thought she was beautiful. Why did she not think she was? She rifled through her closet, and found a pretty light lilac dress. The dress hugged her figure more than most of her dresses did. She usually covered up this dress with one of her heavier cardigans. She pulled out a sheer white airy cardigan and put it on. Baby steps right? She was going to CalTech after all today, she couldn't look too like she was going out on the town.

She turned on her hot rollers, and pulled out her makeup. She applied a very light layer of makeup, soft pink lips and light brown eye shadow that brought out the green of her eyes. She loosely curled her hair and then brushed it so that it had soft waves but was not overly curly. She pulled out a low pair of heels that she had bought. She then opened her drawer and pulled out a pair her new pair of Prada glasses. Penny had convinced her to buy them, and she did admit that they looked really good. They were so much more stylish than her normal pair. It gave her a smart geek-chic look. She put on some body lotion that was scented of jasmine. There, she was all ready.

She gave herself a look in the mirror and smiled. She still looked like herself, but she looked like a happier more confident Amy. She grabbed her purse and rushed out the door to CalTech.

* * *

><p>Leonard was pacing around his lab. He had gotten to work, and checked Facebook to see a million pictures of Penny partying with her old friends. Why was Penny sitting on some guys lap? Who were all the girls she was partying with? How drunk was she? Was she having second thoughts about them? And what was with Bernadette's post? What was that all about?<p>

Leonard put his head down on the table and sighed. How did they get there? He thought Penny and him had worked through all these issues. The insecurity issues, the trust issues, the love issues. Why did one fight with the girls send her into a tailspin? It seemed like everything was going well for Penny, they were engaged, she was in a new job that she was excelling in, they had started to move in together. What was the reason for all this unhappiness all of a sudden?

"Leonard?"

Leonard looked up and saw Alex standing at the entrance of his lab door. Oh God, he thought, she must have seen the Facebook post from Bernadette.

"Uhh..Hi Alex."

"Is everything ok?" she asked. She frowned looking worriedly over at Leonard.

Leonard sighed and looked away from her. "Why, cause there are drunk pictures of my fiancé all over Facebook, or was it Bernadette's stupid post that gave it away?"

Alex walked over and sat near his desk. "I don't understand what that post was about? Why was I tagged in the post? I wasn't even with Bernadette or Amy. What were they talking about you dating someone hot and smart? I just don't get it."

"I really don't know what they were talking about. All I know is Penny and the girls got into a big fight with each other a few nights ago. I knew that none of them were talking to each other. It sounds like Amy and Bernadette are talking again. The post sounds like they were trying to get back at Penny, but I really don't know exactly what they are referring to, and why they mentioned you." Leonard had starting pacing around his lab again. He knew a little more than he was letting on. He knew that that the girls knew that Alex had had a crush on him, and they were probably using that fact to get back at Penny.

"Umm..Ok, but why is Penny hanging out with other guys?" Alex asked softly.

Leonard just stared at her. He didn't know what to say. He really didn't have a good answer to that question. Why was Penny hanging out with other guys? Just then they heard a soft knocking coming from the door.

"Leonard, it's Amy can I talk to you?" Leonard and Alex looked at each other awkwardly.

"Come in" Leonard called out.

Amy walked into the room. She didn't look like the Amy that they were used to seeing. She was more dressed up, her hair was filled with soft waves. She wasn't covered up in layers of cardigans, but was just wearing a light dress and a sheer cover. She was looking quite pretty, it was not the way he was used to seeing his roommate's girlfriend.

Amy gave a surprised look when she saw Alex standing there, and then started looking nervously at both of them.

"I'm really glad that you are both here. I wanted to talk to both of you." Amy said quietly. "I wanted to explain that Facebook post you got from Bernadette yesterday tagging you both."

"I'm listening" Leonard said curtly. Alex was looking up at them curiously.

"First of all, I posted that message from Bernadette's phone. It wasn't her."

"What?" Alex looked up surprised at Amy. It seemed so out of character for Amy to write anything negatively, especially against Penny, who she completely adored.

"Listen, it had to do with the fight that I had with Penny and Bernadette and something she said. I don't want to get into specifics, because it really was between the three of us. I did it, because I was upset with her and I wanted her to feel bad. I was using you Alex to try to make her feel jealous."

Amy looked up at both of them. "I'm really very sorry for dragging the two of you into my argument with Penny. I don't want to be that person, and it won't happen again."

Leonard still felt quite upset, but he realized that it had more to do with his confusion with Penny and less to do with Amy and Bernadette.

"Have you and Penny talked?" Leonard asked.

Amy looked down. "No, we haven't. I'm not really ready to talk to her just yet."

"Well…thanks for coming to talk to us Amy. I had no idea what was going on with that post, but I appreciate you apologizing" Leonard replied.

Amy smiled at them. "Hey, I was wondering have you seen Sheldon today? Do you know if he's in his office now?"

"In the office? He hasn't left his office in three days!" Alex exclaimed.

"Three days! I thought that he was still coming home at night and working from home?" Amy asked.

"I'm getting really worried about him. This sleep schedule thing isn't really working, I mean how can you suddenly go to sleep for two hours in the middle of the day, multiple times a day. Basically, I think he's not really sleeping. He's starting to seem really a bit off lately." Alex said.

"Off?" Leonard scoffed. "That man is always off his head"

"He's doing strange things like tying strings to an electric fan and staring at it for hours. Yesterday he got a pan of water and put it in front of the fan and started watching it. I know he's brilliant, but I really have no idea what he's thinking about. I really think this lack of sleep is making him go a bit crazy…or a bit more crazy" Alex said as she smiled at Leonard.

"Well, one's brain cannot rest and recuperate with only two hours of sleep at a time. You need a much longer period of sleep to do that. Sheldon knows this, I wonder why he's ignoring that fact. Alex, can you make sure that he doesn't go anywhere this evening? I need to run and get a few things, but I want to go and see him. But don't tell him I'm coming ok?"

"Sure, no problem. I know he was planning on staying at work this evening also. He asked me to go get him a cymbal." Alex shuddered.

"Great! Thanks Alex. And thank you both for being so understanding. I'll see you guys later." Amy said, and then left the lab.

Leonard and Alex looked at each other and Alex thought that he looked so tired and sad. She cared deeply for Leonard and didn't like to see him looking so hurt.

"Leonard?" Alex said softly.

"Yeah?"

"You know you can always talk to me about anything. I'm here if you need a friend." Alex smiled at him softly. She got up from the chair and quietly left the room.

Leonard stared at the door after she left. Alex has always been so caring and sweet. She never seemed to think that he was a geek or make fun of his interests. Penny was the love of his life, but why hadn't he heard from her today? He picked up there prom picture from his desk and looked at it. They looked so happy and in love. Why was she so unhappy all of a sudden? Why did he feel so empty and alone…

**A/N: Thanks you for reading. It means a lot, and I love reading your reviews. Up next, Sheldon and Amy reunite for the first time. What do you think he'll think of her hot new look? Can she help her neurotic physicist?**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sheldon was sitting in his office staring at his fan blowing his pan of water. He watched as the waves rippled through the pan. He watched the waves as they swelled and turned, how they changed formation as he changed the fan speeds, how the water slowly glided and then crashed over the side of the pan. He watched as the strings he attached blow away from the fan, rippling in the air, as they bounced, moved and changed directions.

Alex had been giving him worried looks when he started doing this yesterday, but she simply didn't understand how his mind works. Sometimes when he needed to get inspired on a topic in the theoretical realm, he needed to focus on that idea by seeing a literal interpretation in front of his face. Was the universe a single epic wave formation, with an energy source at its centre? The universe was full of magnetic waves, in which dark matter constituted part of its structure. The waves in the water were entrancing, unpredictable, much like the magnetic waves of the universe. He continued staring at the water, deep in thought, he felt like he was dreaming

He looked up and saw Amy at the door. Was he dreaming? Was this a beautiful lilac coloured mirage he was seeing before him?

"Amy? Are you really there?" he whispered.

Amy smiled and looked at him. Sheldon was wearing one of his blue t-shirts, with a black undershirt and black pants. The shade of his t-shirt, made his eyes look even more intensely blue. His hair had that "sex on a stick" look, it was obvious that he had let it go wild this morning. She had been watching him as he was staring into his pan of water, watching the waves crash and move.

"Yes, I'm really here" she said softly. Sheldon rushed up towards her at the door. He pulled her into an embrace, burying his head into her hair.

Sheldon breathed her in. She smelled so intoxicating, like flowers after the rain. Why did she always smell so good? He looked at her. She looked breathtaking, wearing a pretty light purple dress, that didn't hide her beautiful figure. Her dark hair was wavy, and her eyes looked so clear and green. "I've missed you so much" he whispered into her hair.

"I've missed you too. " she said as she gently stroked his face. He looked at her and smiled, he grabbed her hand and led her toward the fan and water. "Let me show you something" he said excitedly. He turned on the fan, and the water began rippling through the pan again. He excitedly started to tell her how the water moved in the same way as magnetic waves and told her his new theories he was thinking about related to dark matter.

Amy gazed at him as he was talking to her. He had a look of childlike excitement when he was talking about physics. His ideas were so brilliant, he was so gifted, she had forgotten how much she loved hearing him talk about his new ideas. She gazed up his long lean body and she started to lose concentration. She could tell he was strong as she looked at his well defined arms in his t-shirt. Mmm….what would it feel like to run her hands along those arms…his chest… Focus Amy Focus! What was he talking about? Condensates? His eyes were so blue. Ocean blue, cornflower blue, cerulean blue, blue, blue, blue…

"Amy?" Sheldon looked down at her.

"Blue?" Amy whispered.

"What?"

"Oh, umm, I mean, those are brilliant ideas Sheldon. You've really come a long way in the past few days. I was worried because I spoke to Alex earlier today, and she said that you were boarding the crazy train again."

Sheldon scoffed. "I'm sick of everyone assuming that I've gone crazy. Just because they don't understand how I think, doesn't mean I am crazy."

"Actually, I'm surprised how good you look. With that sleep schedule, and Alex telling me she thought you weren't sleeping at all again, I was expecting to see hallucinating Sheldon again."

"Oh I think I learned my lesson the last time there. I've actually been sleeping more than people think. My two hour sleep breaks may have extended to four hour breaks, and six hour breaks."

"So you've actually been sleeping MORE than normal?" Amy laughed.

"Well, maybe. I've made a comfortable nest here at work" he said pointed at his air mattress and sleeping bag. "Plus, I haven't really wanted to go home. At home I miss you too much."

He smiled at her and brushed her hair behind her ear. "Why did you come to talk to Alex today?" Amy launched into her story starting the previous night with Bernie. Sheldon started listening but soon became overwhelmingly distracted.

She smelled like some sort of fresh meadow, so light and fresh like the outdoors. She looked so different today, but also the same. He always thought that Amy looked beautiful, but he was also loving her new look. Her long hair was down as usual but it wavy and full. She had new glasses on which really suited her. Her eyes looked piercingly green behind the frames. He was longing to take them off, to get a better look. Her lips were a beckoning soft pink colour. His eyes began to drift down her body.

Amy was still yammering about Bernadette, he took that opportunity to keep looking at her. He gazed at the lilac dress she was wearing. It was more form fitting than the dresses she normally wore. The fabric curved tightly over her breasts and cinched in towards her waist and the flowed lightly over her hips and legs. God, she had such a beautiful body. He knew that from before, but he was a man after all, and men are visual. He appreciated seeing his girlfriend not so covered up. His eyes went back to her lips. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to taste those lips. He wanted to lose control to Amy.

"…and so I apologized to Alex and Leonard. I really can't believe I sent that that post. But I think we talked through it, and are ok now." Amy had finished her long story. She looked at Sheldon who was just staring intently at her.

He gently took her hand, "Amy I'm surprised to see you here. Delighted, but surprised. I thought that you didn't want to see me for another week and a half"

"Sheldon, after I read your email today, I knew that I had to see you. I couldn't keep away. This doesn't mean that we don't have things to discuss, and everything is ok between us. I got to hear your feelings on things, but you never got to hear mine. I have a lot to say, you need to understand how I've been feeling in this relationship."

"You're right; we do need to have that discussion. I do need to know how you are feeling, and how you have felt." Sheldon walked over towards the dark hallway, the building was shut down for the night now. He closed his office door, and turned towards Amy. "But can we not discuss it tonight?"

"Why?" Amy looked at him puzzled.

Sheldon walked over to the blinds and closed them. He turned towards her, "Because sometimes I think we talk too much."

"But you are the one who can talk the ear off a.."

Sheldon walked up to Amy, and put his hands on both sides of her face, and brought her in to a kiss. His lips melted into hers with so much passion, that she was left breathless. He couldn't stop kissing her, he brought his lips back to hers, determined to explore every inch. He began lightly sucking on her bottom lip. Amy let out a soft moan. He took that opportunity to softly slip his tongue into her mouth. Amy tentatively brought her tongue towards his and lightly slid it against his. Soon their tongues were dancing together, both of them letting out little moans of pleasure. Sheldon slid his hands down from her face, and slowly slid them down her back, one hand lightly stroking her bottom. As they continued kissing, Amy ran her hands through his tousled hair. She ran her hands down his taut strong chest. It had felt as amazing as she had imagined.

Sheldon moved from her lips and started kissing Amy's neck. She let out a moan of pleasure. He stopped kissing her, and was looking at her with an intense look. He looked so wild and incensed. He put his hands around her waist and lifted her so that she was sitting on his desk, her legs straddling him. He leaned towards her ear and whispered "This has always been a fantasy of mine." His lips met hers again, and they started kissing passionately. His hands started to explore her body, stroking her back, her arms, her bare legs that were wrapped around his hips. He started to kiss down her neck, and onto her chest towards her breasts. He looked up at her, "Is this ok?"

"Oh God, Sheldon, don't stop!" Amy moaned.

He gently brought his hands up to her breasts and cupped them. "Hoo", Amy moaned. She was looking at him with a fervid look in her eyes. "Take off your shirts" she whispered to him. He ripped them off, and threw them onto his chair. He took of her sheer cardigan, and slipped her dress straps down her shoulders, exposing her black lacy bra. He lightly kissed her breasts over her bra. He looked at her, and she nodded. He unclasped her bra, and then gazed at her.

"You are so incredibly perfect" he whispered. He brought his lips down to her breasts and lightly kissed them. Amy shivered in pleasure and let out a deep moan.

"Hello Dr. Cooper!", the door swung open and a large janitorial cart with a sweet looking seventy five year old woman swung in. Amy screamed and ducked under the desk. Sheldon quickly threw his t-shirt towards her so that she could cover up.

Millie from janitorial services was looking at Sheldon with a shocked look on her face. She thought she had seen everything…apparently not.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Dr. Cooper. I didn't know you had a girl in here, I didn't even know you had a girlfriend. Thought you were married to your work sweetheart" Millie cackled.

"Umm…could you please leave? We are kind of undressed here.." Sheldon pleaded.

Millie laughed and turned her cart around. "Oh it's always the quiet ones isn't it?", she chuckled. She left the room and closed the door.

Amy crawled out from under Sheldon's desk wearing his blue t-shirt over her dress. Her face was red with embarrassment. She looked at Sheldon and they both started laughing.

"Sheldon, how did we go from barely touching to THAT?" she asked.

"I was scared of losing control to you…but I think that I like it. I REALLY like it. But I'm glad that we stopped where we did, It's a lot to take in, in one night." Sheldon said softly.

"I agree, it is. But it felt so good." Amy smiled. "Let me drive you home, I think you should get a proper nights sleep."

"Ok, I won't argue with that". Sheldon stroked Amy's hair and gave her a soft kiss.

"I love you Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler" Sheldon whispered.

"I love you too Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper" Amy replied.

They sealed their night with a soft passionate kiss.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I am living vicariously through these two! Lol…**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Bitches!" Penny muttered. She was scrolling through Facebook, untagging herself from all the unflattering pictures that were posted the previous night. She understood posting the cute pics where they were all looking hot, but what was the need to post the ones where they were all looking drunk and messed up. Why did they have to post that pic of her on that guys lap? They just took the picture for jokes, because him and his friends were so ridiculously over the top. Well Leonard is definitely not going to be happy when he sees this. It was totally innocent, but she knew it was going to turn into an argument. Penny knew her old friends definitely had a bitchy side to them.

Penny's eye's narrowed as she saw that Leonard was tagged in a drunk picture of her. It was from Bernadette.

**Leonard Hofstadter**, you are such an awesome guy. You should be with someone Hot AND Smart, not just Hot – with **Amy Farrah Fowler**, **Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz** and **Alex Jensen.**

What the hell was this? How dare Bernie call her out on Facebook saying that she's hot but not smart, and tagging Leonard in that. She was just trying to cause problems with her and Leonard! Were Amy, Bernadette and Alex all buddy-buddy now? Were they all in on this stupid post?

Alex. Alex…what was she doing with them? Was Bernadette so low, that she was trying to get Alex sniffing around Leonard again?

Oh, she was going to give Bernadette a piece of her mind. Everybody cut Bernie so much slack cause she looked like a cute little pint sized doll. They didn't know what a conniving little bitch she could be. Penny grabbed her bag, briefcase, and put on her best pair of heels. She was going to going to confront Bernadette at work, and boy was she ever going to get it.

* * *

><p>It was complete at utter chaos at Johnson Medical, where Bernadette worked. Their new drug, Diaxophedrine, which had passed all their clinical drug trials, was found to have a very serious new side effect. The problem was, that they had just released the samples of this drug to all their pharmaceutical sales reps to distribute and promote. It was only released two days ago, so they were desperately trying to make sure that none of the doctors gave out those samples, and all the sales reps stopped the distribution of this drug immediately. All drug samples needed to be returned and accounted for to the company. Bernadette was swamped in her lab, trying to find out how this side effect was missed during the clinical trials.<p>

"Bernadette?"

She looked up, it was Dan, Penny's manager at the door. The same Dan that gave Penny the job because of their mutual fear of Bernadette. He was definitely not her favourite person right now.

"What?" she said curtly.

"I've heard from all my reps about the status of their samples of the Diaxophedrine, but I haven't heard from Penny yet. Have you heard from her?"

"No, I haven't." Bernadette snapped. She didn't want to think about Penny, she was too stressed about what was going on at work. She didn't understand how this could be happening with this drug, she was so confused, it was as if the molecular structure changed after a period of time. She was racking her brain trying to figure out what happened. She needed to bounce ideas off of someone. Maybe she could call Amy and talk to her about it, she'd at least have a fresh perspective from the people here, who were just as puzzled as her.

She looked up; Dan was still pacing in front of her lab door. "Did you try phoning her?" Bernie asked.

"Well of course I tried phoning her. Multiple times! She hasn't picked up. I need all her samples back and accounted for ASAP."

"Well I don't know what to tell you. I don't know where she is." Bernie said quietly.

Penny came charging down the hall towards Bernadette's lab.

"Penny! Don't you answer your phone? I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning!" Dan exclaimed.

"Sorry, I must have had the ringer off. What's going on?" Penny replied.

"Listen, the whole thing is explained in your email. Do you still have all your samples of the Diaxophedrine? Did you give any to any doctor's yet?"

"No, today was supposed to be my first visit for that drug. I haven't given any out yet." Penny replied.

"Great! I need all your samples returned. We need to have them all accounted for here. Do you have them with you?"

"They are in my car right now" Penny said.

"Oh thank God. Can you please get them, and take them to the fourth floor lab. We are returning all the samples there." Dan sighed in relief. "That's everyone accounted for, I think we are in the clear for now." He wiped the sweat off of his forehead, and walked towards the door.

"Penny. Next time answer your phone." Dan walked out of the lab.

Penny walked into Bernadette's lab and closed the door.

"You and me need to have a little chat." Penny hissed at Bernadette.

"Penny, I really don't have time for you right now. Can't you see we are in a middle of a crisis here?" Bernadette snapped.

"I really don't care that you are busy. You and me are going to talk NOW." Penny said coldly. She looked over at Bernadette "I know that we both said a lot of crap to each other, but you have no right, NO RIGHT to try to cause problems between Leonard and I. Did you think your little Facebook post was funny? What are you trying to prove hanging out with Alex? You know that Alex liked Leonard…he's ENGAGED, and you are trying to get her interested in him again?!"

"Oh that's rich, you are doing a fine job acting the part of an engaged woman It's ok when you say shit like that to Amy, but it's not ok when it's said to you? Besides, Alex never liked Sheldon, it was Leonard she was interested in, it's like you forgot that fact when you were saying that to Amy"

"But I never said any of that to Sheldon's face. I only said it to you and Amy. You tagged Leonard in that post so that he would specifically read it! You totally crossed the line." Penny paced the lab, her face red with rage.

"Well, I didn't write that post, Amy did." Bernadette said coldly.

"What? Amy?" Penny felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Amy? Amy was the last person that she thought would try to hurt her this way. As annoying as Amy could be sometimes, she was always loyal.

Bernadette smirked. "Well Amy wrote the post, but I totally agree with everything that she wrote, and encouraged her to post it."

"So what you two are best friends now? Why did you two make up when you said just as much crap to her as I did?" Penny looked at her puzzled.

"Unlike you, I felt terrible for what I said to her, and I apologized." Bernie said curtly.

"I texted Amy, she just never texted me back."

"You didn't text her an apology. You just said we all said stupid stuff, let's forget about it. That's pretty lame, considering the nasty things you said to her. What did she ever do to you?"

"Yeah well what about you? You never apologized to me for calling me a stupid lazy slut. You said I had nothing going for me except my looks!"

"Well you never apologized to me for insulting my Howie. You called him a creepy sexual pervert! How would you like it if I said something like that to Leonard?" Bernadette hissed.

"You called Leonard a doormat!" Penny retorted.

The girls stared at each other. It seemed like they had come to an impasse. They stared awkwardly at each other. Bernie looked up at Penny and said softly "Is it true? Are you really sick of hanging out with us? Do you all just see us as a bunch of geeks?"

Penny sighed. "You guys just don't understand what it feels like to be me sometimes. I feel like I don't belong."

Bernadette looked down at her books. "You know Penny, Amy felt bad about that post. She apologized to Alex and Leonard."

"She didn't apologize to me…"

"Really Penny? Do you really expect her to after all the stuff that went down between you two?"

"I guess not…" Penny replied sadly. "I don't hate you guys. I'm just really unhappy right now about a lot of things…it's hard for me to talk about."

"Well maybe you need to take some time out, and figure out what's bothering you. Maybe when you've got that figured out, then we can all sit down and talk about everything. I can't speak for Amy, but I know that I am willing to talk when you are ready. I know that I haven't been the nicest friend either."

Penny looked down at her shoes. "I guess I'll go now. I better go get those samples from my car before Dan lays an egg"

"Bye Penny." Bernie said softly

"Bye Bernie" Penny smiled at Bernadette.

* * *

><p>Penny walked down to her car to get the drug samples. Her car was a mess from last night. She had driven to the bar the night before, but one of her friends had driven them all back in her car. She dug around the trunk. She found some take out containers, an old pizza box, a high heel. Where was that box? She dug around some more and then saw it.<p>

"Oh my god!" she cried.

There was the box, ripped open, and all the drug samples were missing. The box had a sparkle to it…it was body glitter. Her friends must have opened it stolen it from her the night before. This was bad…really bad.

**A/N: Oh Oh…This doesn't look good for Penny…or her friends!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Penny was pacing the parking lot, desperately trying to remember who was in her car that night. There was her, Jessa who was driving, Courtney, Katie and Jenn. It must have been one of them. She started by calling Jessa, who was the sober one, maybe she knew who did it. Penny selected her name and hit dial. No answer. She ran through the rest of her friends, and called them. It all went to voicemail. Why were none of them answering her calls? Were they feeling guilty? Penny started pacing around the parking lot biting her nails.

"Oh my god..what if they're hurt?" Penny whispered to herself. She grabbed her phone and opened her email. What were the new side effects that caused them to recall the drug?

_Diaxophedrine trials recently showed, that in certain individuals, the drug can cause an extreme and sudden rise in blood pressure. This extreme rise in blood pressure may put the patient at very high risk of heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, heart failure, kidney failure, vision loss, memory loss and comprehension loss._

It seemed like all the drugs that they sold had a laundry list of side effects. But this must be much more serious if Johnson Medical was actively trying to recall all their samples. Oh my god, what if they had taken the drugs, and were lying unresponsive somewhere. She didn't know where they all lived these days, so she couldn't even go to their houses to check on them.

The only thing she could do was text them at this point.

**The box in my car with the drug samples is extremely dangerous. It has been recalled by my company. Please do not take them or give them to anyone! It could cause a brain aneurysm! I desperately need to get those samples back to my company or I could get fired. Please, I'm not mad, but just call me right away.**

She hit send, and prayed that they would text or call her soon. That didn't help her in the meantime, Dan was waiting for her samples and she had none to show. She knew that she would be fired immediately for this, they were never supposed to leave their samples unattended; they were to be in secure places at all times.

She didn't know what to do? The only person who might be able to help her was Bernadette. Penny glanced up at the Johnson Medical building and blinked away her tears. She was going to have to ask Bernie for help.

* * *

><p>Bernie was sitting in her lab on the phone with Amy. When Amy answered the phone, she sounded absolutely giddy.<p>

"Amy? You sound like you're in a good mood."

"Oh, believe me Bernadette I am. I don't think I've ever felt this exhilarated in my life before."

"Why what's going on?"

"Oh I went and saw Sheldon last night. At his office."

"I thought that you weren't talking to him in person for two weeks? What happened to that?"

"Well, I thought about what you said to me the other night at the lounge. We really did need to talk. You know how we were just doing email correspondence? Well he wrote me the most touching and amazing email. I just couldn't keep away. I knew that we needed to talk, but electronically wasn't doing it. We needed to talk in person."

"So when you went there, did you two have a good talk? Did you talk about the train trip and how it made you feel?"

"Oh we didn't really talk at all" Amy smiled as she spun around her lab happily.

"What? I don't get it. Why didn't you talk?"

"Cause we were too busy…making out on his desk."

"WHAT!? Wow! How did that happen? I mean..WHAT?" Bernadette exclaimed.

"I told him that we needed to talk about everything. He said he agreed that we DO need to talk about everything. And then he kissed me. Oh Bernie, it was the most glorious kiss that I've ever experienced in my life….AND…"

"And what?!" Bernie desperately asked.

"He found second base..Oh boy did he ever find second base."

"AMY!" Bernie gasped. "Then what happened?"

"The night janitor walked in on us with our tops off! I had to hide under the desk until she left."

Bernie smiled. It was so nice to hear Amy sounding so happy again. Wow, had her and Sheldon made a lot of progress is such a short period of time.

"Amy I'm so happy for you. I'm glad you and Sheldon are getting closer. It's about time, in my opinion. But, I don't want you to ignore the stuff you wanted to tell him. You two still need to talk."

"Oh we will, I definitely want to talk to him about everything. I want things to be better and stronger between us. I just feel like I'm in a state of bliss right now though." Amy said dreamily. "But Bernadette, please don't tell anyone what I told you. You know how private Sheldon can be. I just needed to share this, or I was going to burst!"

"Deal, but I need some help from brainiac Amy right now." Bernie said urgently.

"What's going on?" Amy asked her voice filled with curiosity. Bernadette launched into the explaining the chemical composition of the Dioxaphedrine drug, and how things were changing with the side effects after a period of time, and how none of that showed up in their clinical trials. The two got into a deep discussion about the molecular structure of the drug, when Penny showed up at the door with tears in her eyes.

"Umm..Amy, I've got to go. Penny is here." Bernadette said softly.

"What? Are you two talking again?" Amy's voice suddenly went flat.

"No, it's not like that. She showed up earlier about the Facebook post. We talked a little, nothing serious…Listen, she's crying, I better go."

"Ok, call me later. Bye."

Bernie looked up at Penny with a confused look on her face.

"Penny what's wrong?"

"Bernadette, Oh my god, I don't know what to do. I had the box of the Diaxophedrine in my car. I think my friends must have found the box last night and stolen the drugs." Penny sobbed as she held the empty box. "I don't know what to do! I tried phoning them and texting them but there is no response. I don't know where they live. What if they took it and are hurt somewhere? Dan is going to kill me. I don't want to lose my job." Penny crumpled into the chair sobbing.

"You LOST the drugs! Penny, this is a disaster!" Bernie exclaimed.

"Don't you think I know that? I know.. I know."

"What the hell were they doing in your car? You know you're not supposed to leave those unattended"

"I put it there for Doctor's visit the next day. I totally forgot to bring them into my apartment last night when I was getting ready."

"Well I really don't know what I can do to help you." Bernie sighed.

"Please Bernadette think! I need your help so bad. Isn't there a way you could get more samples?"

Bernadette's eyes narrowed. Yes, there was a way of getting more samples. But, she was putting herself at great risk. She worked so hard to get this job, was she going to risk it all to help Penny? Penny who hadn't been the greatest friend lately? Bernadette thought back on her friendship with Penny. This was the same Penny that had befriended her at work when she had no friends there. She was the same Penny that stayed with on the phone all night listening to her crying about an old boyfriend. She was the same Penny that had introduced to her the love of her life Howie. Yes, they were in a bad spot, but it hadn't always been this way. She looked at her friend, who had her head in her hands, her body shaking from crying. She would help her, she was still her friend.

"I have some of the drug for my lab testing, but I need to keep all of it accounted for. I also need it to do my work. How many samples were in this box?" Bernadette grabbed the box from Penny and looked at it. Fifteen samples. Oh my goodness, why couldn't it just be like five samples. Bernadette's Diaxophedrine was not nicely packaged also, it was in its raw pill form. "Penny, I can't give you the Diaxophedrine from my lab, it doesn't look the same as the stuff you give your clients. Your client's samples are all nicely packaged. But I have an idea."

Bernadette picked up the phone and phoned the lab on the fourth floor.

"Hi Jerry its Bernadette. I'm doing some further testing on the Diaxophedrine, but I accidentally dropped some solvent on my batch, and it's all been wrecked. I really need to work on this right away, and I need some more. What are you doing with the samples that the Pharm Reps have been returning?"

"Well, once we count them, we've been just storing them in a bin."

"Would I be able to get some samples from you for testing?" Bernadette asked.

"I don't see why not. You'll have to sign out the amount you need, so that it's all accounted for though."

"I think twenty samples should be sufficient for now. I'll sign the paperwork when I come down"

Bernadette left the lab promptly, and then returned with a bag of twenty Diaxophedrine samples. She took fifteen from the bag and put it in Penny's box, and sealed it with packing tape. She shoved the box into Penny's arms.

"I need to write a report about every sample that I am testing, you've created a huge amount of work for me, and I need to fake a bunch of reports now. I'm putting my butt on the line for you Penny. I am risking EVERYTHING for you. Do you understand?" Bernadette said urgently. "Thank God the samples don't have serial numbers on it. It's just generic packaging. Now take this box and return it to the Lab."

"Thank-you Bernie" Penny sniffed "Thank-you so much. You don't know how much this means to me." Penny was still shaking, she picked up the box and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"If this ever comes out at all, YOU are taking the blame for this. I had no involvement. Understand?"

"Yes" Penny said quietly.

Penny walked into the hall and breathed a sigh of relief. That was one problem solved, but what about her friends. Were they ok? Did they take the drugs? And if they did, could it be traced back to her?

**A/N: Bernie saved Penny's butt. But is she in the clear? What became of the box of Diaxophedrine?**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sheldon filled his favourite blue mug with boiling hot water from his kettle. He slowly steeped his English breakfast tea, and watched the water turn from clear to a rich amber brown. His thoughts were drifting back to the office, back to Amy, kissing her soft lips, pulling her up on the desk, touching her body…

Leonard walked in and saw Sheldon sitting in the kitchen with a goofy smile on his face.

"You look happy" Leonard said wistfully.

Sheldon looked up at Leonard and smiled. "The sun is shining, I'm on the path to greatness, I have a wonderful girl by my side, there's no reason not to be happy."

"Must be nice" Leonard muttered.

"Have you still not spoke to Penny?" Sheldon looked at Leonard puzzled.

"Not since she went clubbing. I don't know what's going on, she's not picking up her phone."

"Hmmm…." Sheldon replied. He was still upset with Penny for how he treated Amy, and she had really made no attempt to talk to him since their fight the other day. Oh well, he had bigger things to think about. Mainly, Amy was coming over for dinner tonight. She wanted to talk about their relationship. He felt a little apprehensive. What issues was she stewing about? Weren't they in a good place right now? He had never felt closer to Amy than after their session in his office. He looked over at Leonard, perhaps he could provide some insight into what was bothering Amy.

"Leonard, Amy is coming over later, and she wants to discuss our relationship, and issues that she's had with it. Do you have any idea, what issues she might be bringing up? Besides the obvious lack of coitus. I'm well aware of that issue." Sheldon asked.

"Do you have a book to write this all in?" Leonard smiled.

"Leonard, I'm being serious!"

Leonard looked at Sheldon incredulously. "Well you must know how upset she was when you went on your train trip."

"Well yes, but when I came back, she seemed to drop it, and we made up all the missed date nights. I assumed everything was ok."

"I think she had a pretty rough time of it, when you were away." Leonard said.

"You think? You don't know for sure? Didn't you see her?" Sheldon asked

Leonard looked down. He was feeling guilty for not spending too much time with Amy this past summer. He was just caught up in the excitement of Penny and his engagement, and the fact that there was no Sheldon in the apartment to interrupt them. He knew that Amy was having a hard time, but sadly they didn't really seek her out when Sheldon was away. She stopped calling so much, he had just assumed she was ok, and was busy with work.

Sheldon frowned. He hadn't really thought about how his trip had effected Amy. He thought the gang was hanging out as normal, but it seemed like things were not status quo when he was away as he had assumed. Well, there was nothing he could do, until he heard from Amy and heard exactly what she had to say.

* * *

><p>Amy felt nervous as she was driving to Sheldon's apartment this evening. On one hand she was super excited; it was the first time they had seen each other since they had their session on Sheldon's desk. That had been everything she had dreamed of. Her boyfriend filled with passion, wanting her, taking control, touching her. Oh God, she wanted to experience that again, and soon! On the other hand, she knew that she couldn't sweep all the issues that she wanted to talk about with Sheldon under the rug. They needed to deal with it, if things were ever to become better between them. She wanted them to get to an honest open place.<p>

Things were going so well, she didn't want to wreck any of the progress that they had recently made. She knew that for the good of the relationship, that she must do something. Amy pulled up to the building, and found great street right parking right outside. Her palms were sweaty, and her fingers were clenched on the steering wheel. She sighed and thought that this could either go really well or really bad. She looked up towards the building. "Well here goes nothing"

* * *

><p>Sheldon heard a gentle knock on the door, and leapt up to answer it.<p>

"Hello Sheldon." Amy smiled. He looked down at her. She was wearing a form fitting sweater dress, with a low slung belt, tights and black suede boots. It was quite a different look for her, but she still looked amazing. He liked her new look, because he could see her body better, and he was definitely appreciating all the curves of Amy Farrah Fowler.

"Hello Amy, please come in." Sheldon smiled at her. He leaned over and gave her a light kiss on the lips. She grinned up at him and said "Dr. Cooper it's not even date night."

"Date night be damned" Sheldon whispered into her ear.

They walked over to the kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"I'm in the mood for something cold." Amy replied.

"Well you're in luck! I made a pitcher of my MeeMaw's sweet tea last night." Sheldon said excitedly. He got out two glasses, and poured the sweet brown liquid in. Amy took a sip and closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Mmmm…this is so good" Amy said as she sipped the sweet tea.

Sheldon smiled. "My MeeMaw is an excellent cook! I got all her recipes here today. Today I made you Chicken Scampi on angel hair pasta"

"It smells wonderful!" They both sat down at the kitchen island and dug in. Sheldon was not kidding, he was a really good cook.

Sheldon poked at his pasta for a while, and then looked up at Amy. "So Amy, I know that you've been wanting to talk to me. I must admit, I've been quite nervous to hear what you are going to say."

Amy looked at Sheldon. He looked so nervous, and his forehead was beginning to sweat. Maybe she should just drop this? No No…that is not who she wanted to be. She needed to be stronger and tell him what was bothering her. She cleared her throat. "Well Sheldon, it's not exactly easy for me to say all this either. I love where we are right now, but I have to admit, I've been quite upset with a few things in our relationship but I was afraid to tell you."

"I'm listening now." Sheldon said quietly and stared intently into her eyes.

Amy took a big breath and began. "Sometimes I am afraid that we may not want the same things out of this relationship. Before you left on the train, the things you said to me really hurt me. You hated the thought of us living together. You mocked us getting married, kids, growing old together like it was some kind of joke. To top it off, you just left, and you didn't say a word to me. Not a phone call, not even a text. I felt so destroyed….like I didn't matter. You were so focused on your problems, you never once stopped to think how you leaving would affect me."

Amy watched as Sheldon's face filled with guilt. She could see that he was trying to collect his thoughts, but she continued on.

"I was left asking what am I doing in the relationship, with someone who doesn't want any of the same things I do. I do want to fall in love, express that love physically. I do want to get married, kids, the whole ball of wax one day. I'm not saying I need all that right this minute, but that is what I want some day. If that is totally against what you want in your life, then I need to question, what are we doing together? Do you how it feels to have the person that you love most in the world, just walk out without a words notice? And then be gone for almost two months? There were times when I almost terminated our relationship."

"Term…terminate the relationship?" Sheldon stuttered. His face had now gone completely pale.

"When you were gone, I felt so alone. I tried to talk to Leonard and Penny, but they were always too busy. I felt like all the friends I had gained with you were also suddenly yanked out of my life. I know I could have made more effort to see them, but I was too depressed and felt all alone. The only thing I knew to do in that situation, was to throw myself into my work."

"Amy why didn't you tell me any of this when I called you? Or when I got back?"

"I was scared Sheldon…and upset. I didn't know what to say without sounding like I was being needy. I was so afraid to tell you anything for fear that you would run away again."

"I thought we had a relationship, where we could talk openly about everything Amy. We may not have the same type of relationship physically as others, but I always thought that we communicated well. I'm not a mind reader. If you are upset about something, you need to tell me. You can't just hold everything in, and then get upset that I don't know what's bothering you" Sheldon said tensely.

"Well the last time I openly expressed myself, you just mocked me and freaked out. Is that good communication Sheldon? Do you have any idea how much it hurt me?"

"That's not the same thing, and you know it. I just felt blindsided and was lashing out. I admit that I didn't handle that situation in the best manner, but honestly, can't you cut me a little slack? A lot was happening to me right then, and you know I hate change. I try and try and try, and it is never good enough for you."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"I wasn't open to having a relationship, but I am having one with you. I don't like people touching me, but I've learned how to let you touch me, I'm not affectionate enough, I'm not romantic enough, I'm selfish, I don't write songs like Wolowitz, I'm not a romance ninja like Leonard. Everything I do seems to fall short. Do you really want to be with me or some idealized version of me that you have in your head?"

"You should be in a relationship because you want to, not because someone is forcing you! We should touch each other because we both want to, not because it's something that I require! I can't believe that you are trying to turn this around and make this about you. I came here today to try to get you to understand how I felt! You haven't even addressed what I said, but are making this conversation about my actions not yours."

Sheldon put his head into his hands and closed his eyes. He sat there thinking for a long time. Finally he looked up at Amy. "Amy, I never meant to hurt you. Please know, that is the honest truth. I was being selfish, and thinking about my own needs. I needed to sort out my own stuff, but I didn't think about how it would affect you. I am truly sorry for that Amy. I do want the same things in life that you do and it scares me to death. I'm scared of being a failure, and hurting you in the process." Sheldon's eyes were red with tears. He walked over to the window and looked out at the night sky.

Amy walked up to him and took his hand. "Sheldon, do you really want to be with me?" Amy asked her voice quivering with sadness.

"I do", Sheldon said quietly, his blue eyes gazing into her green ones.

"I don't expect ballads. I don't want you to be some romance ninja. I want you Sheldon, just the way you are. I don't want to change who you are, I love who you are. I just don't want you to push me away when you are scared. I want to know how you are feeling. I want to know that you desire me, and move our relationship forward. I want to know that all these feelings aren't just on my side….that you feel them too." Amy sniffed.

Sheldon cupped Amy's face between his hands. "Amy, I do. I do….I do desire you. You don't know how much I desire you, I feel overwhelmed with you, and all the emotions. I'm sorry didn't show you, I didn't realize how much it was hurting you. I let my fears get the better of me. I want us to move forward also, staying still isn't helping things." He paused and looked at her. "I need you to promise me something."

"What is it?" Amy said softly.

"You need to be open with me also. I know that you are scared because of my reaction last time. But you need to tell me when you are upset and when something is bothering you. I'm not a mind reader Amy. Much to everyone's disbelief, I am a grown man, and I can handle what you have to say. I may not always agree with you, but I will always respect what you have to say."

"I promise." Amy smiled as she stared into Sheldon's eyes.

Sheldon took her hand and led her to his spot on the couch. He sat down, and then pulled her down, so that she was sitting on his lap.

"Dr. Cooper! I am in your spot" Amy laughed.

"Correction. We are in my spot. My spot is my favourite place in the world, and you are my favourite person in the world, so it makes sense that I incorporate the two." Sheldon smiled. Amy lightly stroked his hair, and then they melted into a kiss. All of the hurt feelings, the tension, and the misunderstandings were washed away; they looked into each other's eyes and saw true love looking back at them.

**A/N: Sorry for the very late update. I had a bad fever for a week so was in no mood to write. This chapter is the start of a happier and much hotter Shamy….coming soon!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Penny was in her car driving to CalTech to see Leonard. There were no bones about it, she had been avoiding him. She didn't know what to say to him, so much had gone down. Their fight, clubbing with her friends, the whole situation with the drugs, it was a lot to handle.

She was so stressed out, she still hadn't heard from her so called friends. She was teetering on feeling extremely angry with them and extremely worried. The whole thing was making her feel nauseous. Thank-God Bernie had helped her the way she did, or she wouldn't even have a job right now.

Penny parked, and walked into the Physics building at CalTech and headed towards Leonard's lab. As she walked down the hall, she looked at a familiar door. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D, Theoretical Physics. Should she stop in and talk to Sheldon? He had been so angry with her, the last time they had spoken. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him. He had been her dear friend for so many years, she hated having bad feelings between them. Perhaps they could talk all this through.

She gently rapped on the door.

"Come in", she heard Sheldon call out.

Penny walked into Sheldon's office. What was going on here? There was a sleeping bag and pillow in the corner of the office, a number of fan's with strings attached blowing, pans of water all over the place, and at least four whiteboards with equations all over them. Sheldon was furiously writing on the fourth whiteboard some equations, his back was turned to her.

"Sheldon?" Penny said quietly.

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around. "Penny?"

The tall physicist looked genuinely shocked to see her. He frowned "What are you doing here? Are you here to see Leonard?"

"Yeah, I came to see Leonard, but I also wanted to see you too." Penny said softly as she walked further into his office, she sat down on a chair.

Sheldon looked at her, then sat down at his desk and crossed his arms. "What would you like to discuss Penny?"

Penny sighed. "Sheldon, I hate there being bad feelings between us. I want us to get back to normal. I miss you."

"I see. So have you spoken to Amy or Leonard? Have you worked out your issues with the two of them this morning?"

"Ummm..no. You're the first person that I've talked to. I was on my way to see Leonard, but I thought I would talk to you first."

"So you haven't spoken to Amy?" Sheldon enquired.

"No." The truth was Penny had no idea what she was going to say to Amy. She felt angry about the Facebook message that Amy had posted, and she wasn't sure how she felt about Amy right now.

"I don't understand why you would want to talk to me first."

"Because it's easy to talk to you. You understand me. I just know that Leonard and I are going to get into a fight."

Sheldon sighed. He felt quite bad for Leonard. He had been observing him back at the apartment, and he was obviously very depressed. He was visibly upset about Penny clubbing, her telling them that they were a bunch of freaks and then totally cutting herself off for the past few days. He had not been staying at Penny's this week as per the schedule, and was spending most of his time reading in his room.

"Penny, Leonard is my best friend. Amy is my girlfriend. You have hurt both of their feelings terribly. I think you should really focus on repairing those two relationships before ours."

"I'm scared to talk to either of them."

"Leonard is the man you are going to marry, you shouldn't be afraid of talking to him."

"Sheldon, do you remember when you called Leonard to pick you up from Arizona and you didn't call Amy? You told her it was because you didn't want to look like a failure in front of her. Well, I've been feeling the same way about my life. I don't want to look like a failure in front of Leonard."

"Failure? I don't understand. You were much more of a failure in the past as a failed actress and waitress than you are right now. You are positively successful right now in comparison to how you were." Sheldon said.

Penny scowled. He was the same old rude Sheldon, with no filter on his mouth as always.

"I don't feel successful because I am not doing what I have always wanted to do. It's like your physics stuff. You had a dream of working in string theory, and then it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. That really upset you. Well I am not happy because I had to give up on my dream of being an actress. Everyone is so excited that I am a pharmaceutical sales rep, but it's not my dream. I'm not happy." Penny said flicking her nails.

"But you didn't seem happy when you were pursuing that dream also. You were complaining about the roles you were getting, lack of parts and so forth"

"I was supposed to make it big. I should have been a star by now" Penny stated.

"I guess I can kind of understand that. I think I should have had a Nobel by now, but I haven't made the breakthrough that I thought I would have by this point." Sheldon looked at Penny puzzled. "I can see why you are unhappy with your career trajectory, but why are you lashing out at Leonard? At Amy? They have nothing to do with that."

"It's just that nothing about my life is the way I pictured it in my head. I thought I would be a movie star, my friends would be other successful actors and actresses. That I would get married to another star, and we would adopt a baby from another land…." Penny said wistfully. "I found out that I didn't belong in that world. But now I am friends with a bunch of physicists and biologists, who are into things that I am not into. I feel like I don't belong in that world either. I just feel like I don't belong anywhere." Penny said with tears in her eyes.

"I know the feeling of not belonging Penny. I have always been the odd man out. But Penny, I don't really see you that way in this group. Sure you sorely lack the education the rest of us possess, with the exception of Wolowitz, but like we talked about before, you can read people and relate to people better than all of us. It's made you a key person in our social group. You are the one that everyone can talk to easily."

Sheldon leaned towards Penny, "It still puzzles me why you are lashing out at Leonard and Amy. They both care about you so much."

"I don't know Sheldon! That is part of the problem. They both love me a little too much, I can't handle it. I feel like they both put me up on a pedestal, that I can never live up to. They treat me like I'm this perfect person, and when I'm not, I feel even more like a failure!"

"Interesting" Sheldon said softly. "Well I can assure you, that neither of them have you on a pedestal anymore."

"Sheldon that's not helping!" Penny exclaimed.

"Penny, perhaps this will help. Albert Camus once said '_For if there is a sin against life, it consists __perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.' _Maybe you should think about that."

Penny sighed. "You think I am wasting my life dreaming of what could have been instead of enjoying the life that I have been given?"

"I'm simply giving you some food for thought. I don't tell Leonard this often, but he really is kind, generous and amazing person. That fact that this man completely loves you and adores you should fill you with happiness not regret on what could have been. I really think you need to evaluate what you've been given in this life and what you want."

Penny stared at Sheldon, her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know what I want Sheldon? I'm so confused."

"Well, this is a good time to think about things then before you make a lifelong commitment to Leonard." Sheldon said.

Penny stood up, and walked towards the door. "I'm going to go talk to him right now. We definitely need to talk."

"Penny?"

"Yes Sheldon?"

"Please don't hurt my friend." Sheldon looked at her sadly, and turned back to his whiteboard.

Penny left the room, and stood in the hallway tears streaming down her face. She didn't want to hurt Leonard. She loved him. But why did she still feel so unhappy?

**A/N: I don't know where this chapter came from. I wrote it intending for Penny to go talk to Leonard, and I don't know how she ended up talking to Sheldon! My mind is a fickle place these days. Next, Penny's talk with Leonard.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Penny walked up to Leonard's lab and stopped outside the door. She could hear voices inside, Leonard's and a woman's voice. She leaned towards the door to listen, she could hear the woman laughing softly. Who was talking to Leonard? What where they laughing about?

She gently knocked on the door. "Leonard?" she called.

The voices stopped abruptly. She could hear shuffling, and then the door opened. Leonard was standing there wearing his eye goggles and lab coat. Alex was sitting at the lab bench that housed his experiment with goggles on.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Penny asked tensely as she stared at the brunette.

"Oh Leonard was just showing me his latest experiment" she said. Alex turned towards Leonard and smiled. "I think you really have something here, I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this." Alex turned towards Penny. "Good seeing you again Penny, I've got to run." Alex got up and left Leonard's lab.

Penny stared at Leonard. He wasn't looking at her, he simply went back to his desk and started typing into his computer. Penny had never seen him behave so coldly, he wasn't even acknowledging her.

"Leonard?" Penny said again, moving towards him.

"What do you want Penny. I have a lot of work to do." Leonard said irritably.

"I'm sorry Leonard. I know I haven't spoken to you in the last couple of days, but I have an explanation. A lot has happened in the last few days, and it's been a lot to process. I was scared of your reaction, so I was avoiding you. I know that wasn't right, but I'm here now and I'd like to talk."

"That's nice." Leonard said, as he continued typing into his computer.

"Leonard I'm trying to talk to you. Could you please look at me?"

"Oh I'm so glad, you found time in your busy schedule to talk to me. I was wondering where I was on your list of priorities."

"Leonard, I'm sorry, I know I've been avoiding you. It's just that a lot has been going on." Penny continued on. "Listen, nothing happened when I was clubbing. I just went out dancing with the girls. That photo wasn't anything, we were just goofing around because that guy was such a jerk. They posted it, and I know that it doesn't look good. "

"Uh-huh" Leonard muttered, he continued typing into his computer. "I saw all the pictures on Facebook and the post from Amy"

"Bernie told me what happened with the Facebook post" Penny said.

"Yeah, well Amy came and talked to me and Alex the other day. At least she was worried about what I thought about it. I didn't see you calling me to check if I had any questions about that."

"Leonard I'm sorry! I am. I just had too much going on."

"Ok what was so life shattering that you couldn't pick up the phone for a minute or two?"

"I'm so embarrassed, I feel bad telling you. I did something really stupid." Penny bit her lip, and looked down at the floor.

"What is it?" Leonard asked.

"Well, you know that night I went clubbing? Well I was supposed to do some doctor visits the next day for our new drug Diaxophedrine. I had the box with the drug samples in my car. The next day, I get a call from my boss in a panic, that they need the samples back because there was a major recall on the drug. So I go to my car, and…" Penny stopped and cleared her throat.

"..and what?" Leonard asked.

"The drug box was torn open, and the drugs were gone. I think one of my friends may have stolen the drugs! I called and texted all of them and none of them have answered my calls. I don't know where they live these days. I've been so worried about them and pissed off at them at the same time."

"How could you leave that kind of stuff in your car when you go clubbing? Don't you have rules about where you can leave this type of thing?"

"Yes, I know, but I forgot it was there! I was going to bring it up to my apartment that night, but I was in a rush to get ready, I forgot that it was in the trunk."

"Well what did your boss Dan say when you told him what happened?"

"Leonard! I couldn't tell Dan what happened! He would fire me right away for losing the drugs!"

"I don't get it, so what happened then?"

"Bernadette helped me."

"What? I thought you two weren't talking?"

"Well I went to tell her off about the Facebook post, I didn't know it was Amy who sent it. But anyways, I told her what happened about the drugs. She decided to help me. She signed out some of the returned samples to herself, and gave them to me. I put it back in my box and returned it."

"I can't believe you let her do that."

"What do you mean? She saved my butt. She was being a good friend for once."

"I mean, what kind of friend are you, that you LET your friend risk her job like that?"

"Bernie was being a good friend. She wanted to help me!" Penny exclaimed.

"But you were NOT being a good friend by letting her help you! You know how hard Bernie worked to get that job. If she gets in trouble for this somehow, her reputation is toast. She'll lose her job, and will have real trouble finding work again."

"So it's ok I lose my job because I am some lowly uneducated sales rep, but not Bernadette because she has a fancy PhD like the rest of you?"

"It's ok that you lose your job, because you are the one that screwed up! Not Bernie! Can't you see that? Why does she have to risk her job because you made a mistake. The real problem here is that you are completely self-absorbed and selfish! If you were a good friend, you would have never let her take that risk."

"What the hell is your problem Leonard? You are my fiancée you are supposed to support me and be on my side. You are like the world's worst cheerleader, you just put me down and criticize me. At least when I quit the Cheesecake Factory, Sheldon supported me."

"I don't know if Sheldon really supported you, or was just indifferent to your situation. All I asked was it really wise to quit your job before you have a plan for the future. How were you planning on paying your rent, bills, food? I know you didn't like your job, and hell you don't have to stay there forever, but to quit with no plan is just immature. Did you just expect that I would pay your way as always? It's called being an adult and having a plan."

"Man, after I spoke with Sheldon, I thought I could talk to you about anything. Clearly I was wrong."

"And what sage advice did Sheldon give you?"

"At least I feel like I can open up to him. I was telling him that I was upset about giving up on my dream of being an actress. That everyone thinks that I should be so happy being a pharmaceutical sales rep, but it wasn't my dream. This job was like something that I fell into. I mean it's ok, and I am good at it. But it's not my dream. I feel like a failure sometimes for not being a famous actress. And with the way that you and Amy are, it's hard to feel like a failure in front of you." Penny wiped the tears away from her eyes with her hands.

"What do you mean 'with the way me and Amy are?' " Leonard said puzzled.

"I feel like you and Amy put me on a pedestal sometimes, and you expect me to be this perfect person. It's hard to be the person that someone idolizes all the time. It's a lot of pressure. When I fail, I feel like I am letting both of you down."

"Good Lord…" Leonard muttered. "It's like your arrogance knows no bounds."

"I'm not being arrogant! It's true. I feel like sometimes I'm just fulfilling your dream of having the dream girlfriend that you never got to have growing up. And for Amy, having a cool and popular best friend that she never had. I'm a person too. I have feelings, dreams and thoughts. I'm not just here to fulfill that popular girl role in your lives."

Leonard shook his head and started laughing to himself. "Unbelievable…". He got up out of his chair, took off his goggles, and stood right in front of Penny. "Penny, why did you finally want to get married? After all this time, after you quit your job, why at THAT point did you decide that yes you want to get married?"

Penny looked at Leonard nervously. He was not acting like himself; he was behaving so odd, so coldly.

"It's like I told you then, it was time to start acting smart. I know that you love me. I know in my head and heart that this was right, and that I would never find another person that would love me as much as you do."

"It's true Penny. I do love you, more than anything in this world. But what about reciprocation? Do you love me more than any person in the world would love me? Because that's what I would want my future wife to feel about me. Do you love me as much as I love you? Do you Penny?"

"I think so." Penny said softly.

"I think so? I think so? Nooooo….that is not good enough!" Leonard snapped.

"Leonard, calm down! I love you!"

"I never measure up do I? Am I not your dream guy cause I'm not some "movie star"? Dammit Penny. This is the story of my life. I was never good enough for my own damn mother. My brothers and sisters were always better than me. It doesn't matter that I accomplished so much on my own. Nope, not good enough. And why should I have to have academic success for my own mother to love me? She should love me regardless because she is my mother! Now you, I don't meet your expectations either do I? I have been nothing but a great boyfriend and fiancé to you. I've always been there for you, I've loved you unconditionally. You treat me like I'm pathetic, like I idolize you on your pedestal. That's the problem isn't it. You see my love as pathetic. And you decided that it's "good enough", cause you had no better offers from the movie stars in your life!" Leonard threw his notebook across the table.

"Leonard! It's not like that. I do love you. I don't see your love as pathetic." Penny cried.

"You know what? I'm done. I can't take this anymore. I want you to be with me because you love me, because you can't imagine your life without me, because you want to start each day together, because we love each other. I don't want to be your "good enough", I don't want my lover to see my affection as pathetic."

"Leonard, it's not like that…not at all." Penny tried to touch Leonard's hand, but he flinched away.

"We are clearly not supposed to get married. We are supposed to be in a balanced relationship but there is no balance here at all."

"Leonard, you don't know what you are saying, you're upset right now." Penny sobbed.

"I think we need to be apart for a while. I don't know what I'm doing in this relationship anymore." Leonard wiped the tears from his eyes and looked directly at Penny. She was standing there with tears streaming down her face.

"I need to get out of here." Leonard grabbed his coat and ran out of the room.

Penny stood there in the centre of his lab, tears streaming down her face. What had just happened? Did she really just lose Leonard? She felt like her whole world was crashing around her.

**A/N: Not a happy chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. I really appreciate your reviews, and feedback.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Sheldon was walking over to Amy's lab to meet with her after work. They were planning on making dinner together at his place. He wasn't used to the idea of someone else cooking in his kitchen, but she assured him that this would be a fun activity to do together.

Tonight was a night that Leonard was scheduled to stay over at Penny's house. If their talk went well, he would most likely not be in the apartment tonight. He was happy about this, because he wanted to spend some time alone with Amy, uninterrupted.

What was he going to do with Amy in this uninterrupted time? His mind started racing. Things had moved quite quickly that night in his office. He couldn't help it, he was missing her so much, and she showed up looking so lovely like an angel. He couldn't believe that he had acted so savage, pulling her up on his desk, slipping the top of her dress off, taking of her bra… Oh, she looked so amazing. Focus Cooper. He needed to act more like a gentleman tonight and keep his hormones under control. He looked up and was surprised he was already in front of Amy's open lab door.

"Hi Sheldon!" Amy called happily. She was packing up her bag, and getting her stuff ready to go. She looked like a vision, wearing a light pale blue summer dress and cream cardigan. She was wearing cute sandals, and her hair was pulled up in a ponytail.

He walked up to her and gave her a light kiss. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes I am. I've thought up some new counterfactuals for us to play later" Amy smiled.

"Sounds good, although, how fair is that if you've come up with all the topics? I think that I should be able to have a few in there."

"Well you can think of a few on the drive home, how about that?"

"Ok, sounds fair. But be prepared to be stumped."

"Oh I don't know if you'll be able to get past mine Dr. Cooper, mine have a theme" Amy winked at him.

Amy locked her lab door and they were on their way.

* * *

><p>Leonard was sitting in their dark apartment on the couch. He felt completely drained but his mind was racing with the events of this morning. What had just happened? Did he really break up with the love of his life? He couldn't imagine his life without Penny. Her words came flooding into his head. Did she really see him that way? Like some fool that worshiping a goddess? That she didn't see him as an equal, and that he was pathetically loving her? Tears started stinging his eyes. How did they get to this spot? He thought that they had finally gotten to a place in their relationship where they were both secure and happy. But she wasn't happy. She didn't even feel like she could open up to him. She always opened up to Sheldon instead. What was it about Sheldon that she found so easy to talk to? He was maddening, condescending and arrogant.<p>

Leonard heard voices laughing outside the door, and then the doorknob slowly started to turn. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes, and tried to look normal.

"That's not the meaning of that song Sheldon!" Amy laughed as she walked into the apartment.

"I simply can't understand what that song means then? If U seek Amy? I listened to the lyrics and they make no sense. "_Love me, Hate me, Say all you want about me, But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U seek Amy" _Begging to what? If you seek Amy? How do you beg to if you seek Amy? The grammar is just appalling. It makes absolutely no sense."

Amy was howling laughing at this point. "Oh Sheldon, it's a play on words." She stopped abruptly when she saw Leonard sitting on the couch.

"Leonard, I'm sorry I didn't know you were here." Amy exclaimed. She looked at Leonard. His eyes were red, and he was sitting on the couch hugging the pillow. She rushed over to him on the couch and touched his shoulder. "Leonard, are you ok?" Leonard just stared at the ground.

Sheldon looked over and saw his roommate looking broken and despondent. He knew that the talk with Penny must not have gone well.

"I'll make tea" he said quietly, and rushed into the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove.

"Leonard, what's wrong? Amy asked again softly.

Leonard put his head between his hands and sighed. "I don't even know where to begin." he croaked. "I think Penny and I are over" he said quietly.

"What?" Amy said shocked. Sheldon looked over stunned. When he had talked to Penny, she seemed a bit confused, but still fully committed to Leonard.

"I don't understand. When I spoke with Penny, she was expressing dissatisfaction with her career, but she did not even give an inkling that she wanted to end things." Sheldon said.

Amy's eyes narrowed as she looked at Sheldon. "You and Penny are talking? You never told me that."

"She showed up at my office this morning out of the blue. I had no idea she was coming. She was there to see Leonard, but came and spoke with me first." Sheldon looked worriedly at Amy, who was frowning.

"Penny is not the one that ended things. I did it. She's only with me because she settled. I know in her head she thinks she can do better. That's why she is so unhappy."

"Did she say that?" Amy asked

"No, but…" Leonard started.

"What exactly did she say?" Sheldon asked.

"I was just so angry when she came to talk to me. She told me about the clubbing and that nothing happened. She went into a work situation, which I won't get into. She told me that she came to speak with you." Leonard glared at Sheldon.

"It's true, she did come to talk to me. But she was mainly upset about her career, and the fact that she wasn't happy in her new job, and was upset about not being a famous actress. She did express that she felt that she doesn't fit in with our group, and didn't feel she had common interests to everyone" Sheldon said quietly.

"I'm so happy my fiancé feels it is so much easier to talk to you than me! I guess you don't put her on a pedestal like Amy and I do!" Leonard said tensely.

"What? I don't understand. What are you talking about?" Amy asked.

Leonard got up from the couch and started pacing the living room. "She said that we put her on a pedestal, and idolize her. That she feels like she can't be herself around us, because we expect her to be perfect all the time. She said that we were using her to fulfil our dreams of having a hot girlfriend and a popular best friend."

Amy frowned, and looked at Sheldon. "Is that true? Did she say that to you also?"

Sheldon stared at Leonard and Amy who were both looking at him intensely. "Listen, just because I spoke with Penny doesn't mean that I am happy with her and her actions. But she has been a good friend for many years, so I felt I should hear her out when she wanted to talk. Leonard, I think her recent behaviour towards you has not been good. Amy, you know I am completely disgusted with the untrue words she said to you when you two had your fight. That being said, I do agree that you both put her on a pedestal sometimes."

"What? I can't believe you agree with her!" Amy said stunned.

"Amy, you have to admit, Penny doesn't always treat you the best. You always do what she wants, when she ignores you or is mean to you, you easily forgive her with no consequence. Leonard I could say the same exact thing to you. I've always called Penny out when I think she is wrong. You both don't. Perhaps that why she feels she can talk to me, cause I don't have unrealistic expectations of her." Sheldon looked over at Leonard. "What led to you breaking up with her?"

Leonard sighed exasperated. "I love her with all of my heart, and would do anything for her. I can't get rid of this feeling that she doesn't feel the same way. I don't want her to see me like some sort of puppy dog that is following her around with blind adoration. I want her to see me as her partner, her equal."

"I agree, that I think you two definitely have a lot to sort out if you are to stay together. But, I do truly think she loves you Leonard." Sheldon said quietly.

Leonard's eyes were filled with tears, which he wiped away with his hand. He continued pacing around the room. "I'm never good enough am I?" Leonard's voice cracked.

"Leonard, you've always been good enough. We all see it, and I honestly think Penny see's it too. The only person that doesn't see it is you." Amy walked over and put his hand on Leonard's shoulder.

Leonard sat down on the couch and started sobbing. His phone started buzzing. He picked it up, and saw the incoming text message. He looked up at Amy and Sheldon who were looking at him with worried eyes. "Hey that was a text from Howard. He wants to take me for a drink. I think I'm going to take him up on it."

"Are you sure? Stay here if you like, if you want us to stay or go, we'll do whatever makes you comfortable" Sheldon said.

"No I need to get out of here. Get some air. Howard is good at getting my mind off of things." Leonard said quietly.

"Ok, If you are sure. I don't want you to feel like you can't be at home though." Sheldon replied.

"No I don't. I just really need to get out for a while." Leonard put on his jacket, and grabbed his keys. "I'll see you guys later ok?" He walked out the door.

* * *

><p>Amy sat quietly on the couch staring at the ground. She couldn't believe that Penny and Leonard had split. She started thinking about what Leonard had said, that she idolized Penny; and the fact that Sheldon agreed with her about that.<p>

"Amy are you ok?" Sheldon asked as he sat down on the couch beside her. His face was filled with worry.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm just thinking about what you said about me idolizing Penny." She looked up at Sheldon. "You are right, I have idolized her. I've never had a best friend before. And Penny was so fun, and magnetic. She seemed so beautiful and perfect; I couldn't believe that she was friends with me. Girls like her were never friends with me. I guess I got caught up in the whole thing."

Sheldon smiled at Amy and took her hand. "You are the one that is perfect"

"Now don't you go putting me on a pedestal!" Amy laughed. "No, you are right. I just didn't want to hear it. It makes me feel kind of pathetic sometimes you know? I think I know how Leonard feels"

"I don't see either of you as pathetic. I see both of you as people with big hearts. You kind of remind me of MeeMaw that way."

"Well that's the nicest compliment I could have gotten." Amy smiled. She grabbed Sheldon's hand. "Let's not let this totally derail our date night. I think it's too late to cook now, so maybe let's just order a pizza. We can still play counterfactuals in the meantime"

Sheldon grinned at Amy. "That is a fabulous idea. I will order, and you get the first question ready for me. I've got a doozy ready for you already." He pulled out his cell phone and quickly ordered the pizza.

Amy stood up and took off her cardigan. She pulled the hair tie out of her hair and shook her hair so that it was in loose waves framing her face. She kicked off her sandals, and sat in Sheldon's spot, tucking her legs up into the couch.

Sheldon stared at her. God what was she doing to him? Her hair was down and wavy. Her milky white arms were exposed. She was exposing more leg than normal with the way she was sitting in his spot. She was looking at him with the most alluring smile. He wanted to just go to the couch and pin her and kiss her senseless. Was she purposely trying to distract him, so that he would lose at counterfactuals?

"Are you ready?" she asked coyly.

"Ummm…yes." Sheldon walked over and sat next to her, in her spot on the couch. He sat very close…a little too close.

She smiled brightly at him. "Ok, I will start off easy. In a world where koalas are trained warriors, what country will rise to power during a worldwide famine on eucalyptus leaves?"

Sheldon grinned at her. "That's easy. Switzerland."

"Defend"

"Australia emerges as a superpower due to its super army of Koalas. The army grows to an astronomical size, depleting Australia's natural resource of eucalyptus. Due to the worldwide shortage of eucalyptus at that time, the Middle East, China and India have also been depleted of its meager supply of the leaves. Switzerland uses is vast monetary resources to fund large greenhouses to grow eucalyptus, and attain the super army of koalas."

"Correct. As the winner of that round, you must take off a piece of clothing." Amy smirked.

"Take off? Shouldn't I have to take off something, if I lose? Not win?" Sheldon asked.

"Well, I am making the rules for the game today. Lose something Sheldon." Amy said.

"Well ok." Sheldon pulled off his green lantern t-shirt, leaving his black undershirt on, and folded it neatly. "I'm not one to argue with the rules. But be prepared. Your question might have gotten a bit easier."

"Ok I'm prepared" Amy laughed. Sheldon leaned closer towards her, she could smell the faint smell of his cologne and baby powder.

"In a world where mangoes are considered pets, what is the most popular toy for pets?" Sheldon asked.

"Really Sheldon? Come on, the answer is so obvious. It's a mini-trampoline. I think you made that question easy on purpose." Amy whispered in his ear.

"You are correct. But rules are rules. You need to take something off." Sheldon was eyeing her hungrily. She was only wearing a sundress, her cardigan was already off. There was not much choice in items of clothing that she could remove. His eyes dilated as he looked at her.

"Fine, rules are rules." Amy sat up straight and then carefully removed one earring.

"Hey! That is not an item of clothing!" Sheldon protested.

"It is part of my outfit, so it's considered an item of clothing. That's what you get for cheating with an easy question. I should really put my cardigan back on!"

"Noooo….the earring is fine I guess. But I still don't think jewellery is clothing. Ok, it's your turn again."

Amy licked her lips and smiled. "Ok Sheldon, In a world where coitus is for reproduction only and coitus for pleasure was a punishable offense, would Sheldon still try to undress his girlfriend and have his way with her?"

Sheldon stared at her, as he felt his face flush. "I think I will give you demonstrative answer" he responded. He pinned her down on his spot and kissed her passionately. Amy moaned as she felt Sheldon's tongue enter her mouth. They lay there kissing, and felt their bodies growing hotter, sweatier, entangled. Amy broke away for a second and sucked his ear. She whispered into his ear "Correct. You need to lose an item of clothing."

Sheldon sat up and grinned at her. He took off one shoe and sock. "Two can play at that game", he whispered. He pulled Amy onto his lap and started kissing her neck, her collarbone and was inching towards her breasts. "You need to be punished for cheating Amy, you gave me an easy question. I think you need to lose another item of clothing."

"Well I have another earring I can take off." Amy whispered.

"That's not what I had in mind" Sheldon said huskily. He slid his hand up her bare leg, up along her bottom then slid it toward her hip. He hooked his thumb into the side of her panties and slowly started to move them down.

"Oh my god Sheldon." Amy grabbed his face and started to passionately kiss him as she was sitting on his lap straddling him. He was slowly sliding her panties down her legs.

_Knock Knock Knock…PIZZA!_

"Damn it! Why are we always interrupted?" Sheldon gasped. Amy jumped off his lap and tried to sort herself out.

"We have lots of time to get there. Lots of time." Amy whispered, and she shimmied her panties back up to the appropriate place.

Sheldon smiled at her. "I think this version of counterfactuals is my new favorite." Amy smiled back at him. Mine too, Amy thought, Mine too.

**A/N: Aawh Poor Amy and Sheldon keep getting interrupted! Hope you enjoyed the sexy counterfactuals… = )**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Amy stood outside of 4A feeling completely flustered. She could still feel Sheldon's lips touching hers. Thinking about him sent tingles all the way to her toes. She put her cream cardigan back on and leaned against the door. She couldn't believe what had happened that night. Sheldon, Sheldon Cooper had slipped his hands under her dress and was touching her panties. What body snatcher had stolen her mysophobic boyfriend and left this man before her? Her face flushed thinking about it. She had pushed Sheldon for this for so long, and now it was coming true. It was coming true at a rapid rate. Amy felt her heart start to race.

Sheldon was going to see her naked. Naked! What if he didn't like what he saw? What if he thought her butt was too big? Or saw that her thighs jiggled a little? He would see that her stomach wasn't perfectly flat. She wasn't perfect, oh why couldn't she have a perfect body? Amy's heart started racing even more. Her thoughts turned towards Sheldon. She was going to see Sheldon naked. Oh boy. It was something she had dreamed about, but now this was all becoming very real. He didn't seem nervous about anything. How did he describe himself? Fully functional and aesthetically pleasing? Oh dear…she was sure he was extremely aesthetically pleasing. Amy could feel her face flush again.

"Oh my God…Oh my God" Amy muttered. She started pacing around the hallway. She didn't know what she was doing! She was going to have sex soon. What if she was bad at it? What if she didn't know how to please him properly? Would she be boring in bed? Sheldon was a tall guy…Oh my god this was going to hurt. If he thought he was hurting her, he would never touch her again. How did he seem more ready for sex than her? Sheldon?! It was probably because he was physically perfect and men's first time's at sex were not painful? Would it be painful? Would it be nice?

"Oh my God!" Amy said louder. She was starting to feel dizzy and very hot. She needed to sit down. She tossed her bag down and it made a clang against the broken elevator door. She sat down on her knees and started to take a few deeps breaths. "Breathe Amy…Breathe" she said aloud as she took some more deep breaths.

"Leonard is that you?" Penny had opened her door. She eyes were red with tears. She saw Amy crouched on the ground near the elevator looking completely flushed. Amy looked a bit different, she was wearing the Prada glasses that she had picked out with her. Her hair was also down and was wavy. She also looked completely dishevelled.

"Amy are you ok? Why are you on the ground? You look all red?" Penny asked with concern in her voice.

Amy looked up at Penny. Oh God, she was the last person that she wanted to talk to right now. "I'm fine, I just need a minute." She continued to try to breathe deeply.

"Are you having a panic attack? Should I go get Sheldon?" Penny crouched down next to her.

"NO! No, don't get Sheldon. I can't see him. I just need a minute, I'll be fine." Amy gasped.

"Amy, at least come in to my place then lie on the couch until you feel better. I'll get you a glass of water." Penny said softly.

Amy was feeling the room start spinning again. She did not want to talk to Penny, but lying on her couch would be better than lying in the hallway. She also didn't want to tell Sheldon, because he would be full of questions that she didn't want to answer. She got up on her feet, and hastily made her way to Penny's couch. As she walked into Penny's apartment, the memories of their fight smacked her in the face like it had just happened. Penny was in the kitchen filling a large glass with water. She brought it over to the table in front of the couch and set it down. She then sat in the chair and stared at Amy. Amy's breathing was starting to go back to normal.

Penny frowned. "Amy, nobody hurt you right? Your clothes seem kind of dishevelled? Sheldon didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, no….Sheldon would never hurt me. He would never hurt anyone, you know that. Quite the opposite actually." Amy said quietly.

Penny's eye's lit up. "Amy, did you and Sheldon?"

"No! Frankly Penny, you are the last person I want to talk about this right now." Amy said flatly.

"Arrgh!" Penny exclaimed as she got off the chair and started pacing around the living room. "My life is completely in the toilet right now. Leonard said he can't be with me anymore, I don't know what that means? Are we broken up? I don't know and he won't answer my texts or calls. I'm in so much trouble at work, I don't know what's happening with my old friends and they might be in danger, and I have to also deal with this fight I had with you and Bernadette…that everyone is sticking their nose into. It's too much!"

"Well you can scratch the fight with me off the list. You've made it quite clear that you are not really my friend, and are not interested in being my friend. Consider us over. "

"Great Amy, Thanks. That makes me feel so much better." Penny rolled her eyes. "You know, you didn't exactly help the situation with me and Leonard."

"Me?! Oh this I have to hear." Amy glared at Penny.

"I know that it was you that posted that status update, and tagged Alex in it. Now those two seem really chummy again all of a sudden. I bet you anything, Leonard's run off to Alex for comfort right now" Penny said angrily.

"God, everything really is about you isn't it? You told me that exact thing I wrote on Facebook. Sheldon would be with someone smart AND hot, not just smart if he didn't have all his issues? What kind of friend says that? You basically told me I have no sex appeal, my boyfriend isn't turned on by me, that he's only with me because he didn't have to worry about having sex. If he were with you, he'd want it all the time? How do you think that made me feel? You made me feel like an ugly troll, that nobody would want." Amy yelled.

Penny stared at Amy. "Why do you look different now then? Why is your hair all different, and your glasses? They are the ones I picked out for you."

"I'm just trying a slightly different look. I haven't bought any new clothes, I'm just trying not to wear as many layers."

"See, you took my advice and started dressing more like a young woman and less like a grandma. And now Sheldon is all over you isn't he?" Penny eyed Amy's wrinkled dress. "That's exactly it isn't it! You look this way tonight, because Sheldon was all over you wasn't he?"

"Damn it Penny, you are NOT taking credit for this. No! Bernadette was the one that suggested I dress to show off my body a little more. Not you! All you did was make me feel ugly and unwanted. I thought you were my friend. I trusted you, and the way you are talking to me right now, shows that you never really cared about me. Sheldon and I are closer now, because we had a lot of tough conversations, but now we are on the same page. We are being more honest about what we want from each other. If I went back to dressing like a "grandma" as you put it, he would still want me. He wanted me all along, he was just scared. He's getting over that right now, and believe me, he is not having much trouble expressing it!"

Penny walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. "He told me he'd rather be castrated than sleep with me." Amy started laughing.

"It's not funny." Penny said tensely.

"Sorry, but that is really funny. I can't even imagine him saying that." Amy smiled. "Listen Penny, Sheldon told me what you said about how you were uncomfortable with how Leonard and I put you up on a pedestal. I was upset when I heard it, but you were right. I have done that. I never had a best friend before. You seemed like the sweetest person, so fun, exciting, and beautiful. I was so excited to be your friend. Was I using you to have a popular best friend I always wanted? I don't think so, but I admit, maybe in the beginning of our friendship I was doing that. But as I got to know you, I really did like you. I genuinely cared about you as a person. You really were that fun, caring person that I dreamed of having as a best friend. I thought you felt the same way, but I guess I was wrong." Amy said sadly.

Penny sat back down in her chair and stared at Amy. Amy really had been a good friend to her over the years. She was there for her when Leonard was dating Priya, she had listened to all her fears about marriage and her relationship with Leonard. If she ever needed her, she was there. Why had she been so cruel to Amy? Was it simply because she didn't fit the image of what Penny had in her head of what her best friend would be like. Her old friends wouldn't even answer her phone calls. Amy and Bernadette always would. She knew what it was…she was jealous. She put her head between her hands and started crying.

"Amy, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for the way I treated you." Penny sobbed.

Amy stared at her, she didn't know what to say. Penny's apology just was not enough…not now.

"Amy, you were right. I was cruel to you. You didn't deserve that . Not at all. I just am…I feel…I feel"

"You feel what?" Amy asked.

"I think I am jealous of you." Penny gasped.

"Me? What? Nobody is jealous of me. I'm the girl everyone ignored and mocked my whole life. There is no way you are jealous of me." Amy sputtered.

Penny looked directly at Amy. "You are so smart, and have a successful career. You can cook, play musical instruments, you can write, you do crafts. You and Sheldon have a much stronger relationship than Leonard and I have ever had. It's hard for me to say this. You and Sheldon have a lot in common, where sometimes I feel that Leonard and I don't. You two communicate better than we do, we tend to hold our issues in until they explode. I feel like a failure most of the time. It really bothered me that I failed as an actress. I come home to you guys who are all so accomplished in your careers. And you, always so happy, treating me like I was this super special person, when I felt I was not. I just wanted to lash out at you. I wanted you to feel as low as I was feeling. I knew you were insecure about your physical relationship with Sheldon, I knew that you had been mocked over your looks…so that's what I went after." Penny started crying again.

"I'm so sorry Amy, you deserve a better friend than me. I'm so sorry. I'm incredibly sorry." Penny sobbed.

Amy got off the couch and approached Penny. She gently took Penny's hand and brought her over to the couch. "Penny, sometimes we don't see ourselves clearly. I don't understand why you see yourself as a failure? It is almost impossible to be a successful actress. Less than 1% of people that try make it. Those are impossible odds. But if it's your dream to be an actress, then don't give up on it. I would strongly suggest having a plan B, but a plan B that you enjoy and love. If being a pharmaceutical rep isn't making you happy, then figure out what job would make you happy. Do that, and apply for acting jobs at the same time. If you get your breakthrough role, then you can always quit your other job. Don't give up on your dream, I always thought you were a good actress." Amy said.

"My life is such a mess. I can't believe Leonard walked away from me. I love him Amy, I do. But I am scared that we don't have much in common sometimes. He thinks I see him as pathetic, but I don't Amy, I don't."

"I really think you and Leonard need to think about what you both really want. Sometimes it seems like you are with him because he was a safe option. Other times, it seems that you are with each other because you truly love each other. Leonard seems very damaged by his mother's treatment of him growing up, he's very insecure about himself. Sometimes he does seem he is with you because you were the ideal girl in his head, but other times because he truly loves you. I don't know, but you two definitely need to sort things out."

"What if it's too late? What if he's run off to Alex?" Penny sobbed.

"He's not with Alex. He's with Howard right now" Amy replied. "Things are all a bit raw right now, why don't you try speaking with him tomorrow?" Penny nodded and gave a sigh of relief.

"And what about us?" Penny looked up at Amy.

Amy looked back at Penny. She truly did miss Penny as a friend, but things could not be the same as they were before.

"We didn't have a very healthy friendship Penny. I was adoring you, you were jealous of me. I ignored my needs to go with whatever you wanted. You wanted me to feel your pain when you were unhappy. We were never equals. You felt like you were forced into a friendship with me. I don't want you to feel like that. If we are friends, I want it to be because we both truly want to be friends and be there for each other. Not because our boyfriends are best friends."

"Maybe we could do a friendship reset?" Penny said softly.

Amy smiled. "Ok, I promise to not put you on a pedestal, to treat you like a normal friend that has her good points and her faults. You promise to be honest with me, and tell me when things are bothering you and to be a supportive friend. Let's both not lash out at each other when we are down, but support each other."

Penny had tears streaming down her face. She grabbed Amy, and they embraced in a hug.

"I promise. Besties?" Penny whispered into Amy's hair

"Forever." Amy smiled.

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews, I really enjoy reading them. This was another turn of events that kind of came unplanned. I was planning on Amy and Penny making up much later, but I think Penny needs a supportive friend right now. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for the reviews!**


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